A Night At The "Bar"
can we talk about cell phones for a second?
how much do you hate the little battery "bar"? that thing is almost completely worthless, isnt it? i was thinking about this the other day. a female "friend" (take that however you want...) of mine was down to one bar the other day (that actually sounds like it has multiple meanings... i like it. maybe we'll talk about that later) and she was freaking out, cos she didn't want her phone to go dead. so it got me to thinking -- how do you know how close you are? 1 bar means nothing to me. sometimes i ride one bar out for days. sometimes its just a matter of minutes. why not a half bar? can they do that? I'm telling you, the way it is right now, i have no frame of reference here. what about an idiot light? like in your car, when you're low on gas. that gas gauge is pretty useless, lets be honest. but the idiot light; when that thing comes on, boom, now you know where you stand. its a definitive "you have 2 gallons left" so you're set. take it a step further and you have the nicer cars equipped with the "miles til empty" electronic gauge. because people need something exact. ambiguity is for dealing with DTR talks between you and your sexual anesthetic du jour; not for calculating the next fill up. can we implement this "minutes til empty" gauge into the cell phone? (speaking of women.. since we're talking about it. how great would it be if booty calls came with that gauge. like "this many encounters before she presses for something more" this kind of information would be revolutionary)
so how are cell phone makers still getting away with this "bar" system? It's like a big joke. and it's on you, sucker. can you imagine if other people tried to pull this shit. let's say you get cancer. "how long do I have, doc?" "one bar... maybe two"
what the fuck. that helps me a negative amount. one bar!! does that mean I'd better go on a spending binge starting now, or do I have a couple months? One bar! You go out for dinner, and the hostess is like, "it's a one bar wait. do you wanna go ahead and give me your name?" i could go on for days with examples. but you get the idea. this shit would never fly out in the real world. yet cell phone companies are taking no flack for this shit. they're getting away with murder!
alright, i'm through. now i'm just angry all over again. fuck!
here's a weird one for you. my phone (the old motorola flip phone) has a total of 3 bars of power. sometimes i can go forever on 3, sometimes forever on 2...sometimes im down to 1 bar after a single phone call. i really dont get it, but i guess a lot of things go into it, like how hard it has to work to get a good signal, and how annoying the person on the other end is (that's gotta drain more than just you, right?)
i actually was on the phone one time with 1 bar, i get the low battery warning, and i swear the phone shut off shortly thereafter. it got out of hand like a brawl between anchormen.
btw, the main display has 3 bars...but you can go to phone settings and check the battery meter, and there are 6. was it really that hard to make a little extra room on the screen to make 6 in the main display? what sort of japanese mind tricks are these?
guys should come with bars that tell a chick how long it is til we splash on their tits (or uvula if you prefer)
i think im done...time to hit the one bar that i know and love
how much do you hate the little battery "bar"? that thing is almost completely worthless, isnt it? i was thinking about this the other day. a female "friend" (take that however you want...) of mine was down to one bar the other day (that actually sounds like it has multiple meanings... i like it. maybe we'll talk about that later) and she was freaking out, cos she didn't want her phone to go dead. so it got me to thinking -- how do you know how close you are? 1 bar means nothing to me. sometimes i ride one bar out for days. sometimes its just a matter of minutes. why not a half bar? can they do that? I'm telling you, the way it is right now, i have no frame of reference here. what about an idiot light? like in your car, when you're low on gas. that gas gauge is pretty useless, lets be honest. but the idiot light; when that thing comes on, boom, now you know where you stand. its a definitive "you have 2 gallons left" so you're set. take it a step further and you have the nicer cars equipped with the "miles til empty" electronic gauge. because people need something exact. ambiguity is for dealing with DTR talks between you and your sexual anesthetic du jour; not for calculating the next fill up. can we implement this "minutes til empty" gauge into the cell phone? (speaking of women.. since we're talking about it. how great would it be if booty calls came with that gauge. like "this many encounters before she presses for something more" this kind of information would be revolutionary)
so how are cell phone makers still getting away with this "bar" system? It's like a big joke. and it's on you, sucker. can you imagine if other people tried to pull this shit. let's say you get cancer. "how long do I have, doc?" "one bar... maybe two"
what the fuck. that helps me a negative amount. one bar!! does that mean I'd better go on a spending binge starting now, or do I have a couple months? One bar! You go out for dinner, and the hostess is like, "it's a one bar wait. do you wanna go ahead and give me your name?" i could go on for days with examples. but you get the idea. this shit would never fly out in the real world. yet cell phone companies are taking no flack for this shit. they're getting away with murder!
alright, i'm through. now i'm just angry all over again. fuck!
here's a weird one for you. my phone (the old motorola flip phone) has a total of 3 bars of power. sometimes i can go forever on 3, sometimes forever on 2...sometimes im down to 1 bar after a single phone call. i really dont get it, but i guess a lot of things go into it, like how hard it has to work to get a good signal, and how annoying the person on the other end is (that's gotta drain more than just you, right?)
i actually was on the phone one time with 1 bar, i get the low battery warning, and i swear the phone shut off shortly thereafter. it got out of hand like a brawl between anchormen.
btw, the main display has 3 bars...but you can go to phone settings and check the battery meter, and there are 6. was it really that hard to make a little extra room on the screen to make 6 in the main display? what sort of japanese mind tricks are these?
guys should come with bars that tell a chick how long it is til we splash on their tits (or uvula if you prefer)
i think im done...time to hit the one bar that i know and love
posted by Big Shifta at 1/30/2007 07:45:00 AM
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