Dead Man Walking

Do you think being a Baptist is like living a life on parole? If you sin (break the law), you're going to Hell (jail). If you don't meet regularly with God (your parole officer) you're going to Hell (the pokey).
But what was your first crime? (Yes, other than being a baptist) Why are you on parole? And who was your lawyer? I think you got fucked...
You should've contacted the law offices of Shifta & Dickinson. We can get anyone 'off'... get it?
(Our best defense is a good offense!) I think we can prove that you only acted under coercion. You were brainwashed and lied to from an early age. You're the victim here! Of course, by me saying all of this, I'm probably going to be held in contempt & wind up in jail (Hell).

Righteous Judges!!