bachelor running commentary

if you dont watch the bachelor, this probably isnt even worth reading. it's up to you

Studlystuf (20:00:00): im locked in
msevier31 (20:00:20): did i miss a fucking episode??
msevier31 (20:00:24): is this on twice a week?
Studlystuf (20:00:30): i dont think so
Studlystuf (20:00:34): i think we're good
msevier31 (20:00:38): i dont know how i missed the meltdown
Studlystuf (20:00:44): maybe it was like 2 weeks ago
msevier31 (20:01:00): hahaha god that bitch is stamping her ticket home

[sadie is a virgin]
Studlystuf (20:01:09): she still thinks she's saving herself
Studlystuf (20:01:10): cos she's like 21
Studlystuf (20:01:14): she'll fuck within a year
msevier31 (20:01:15): hahaha

[the girls have to sing an aria]
msevier31 (20:01:41): oh my god
msevier31 (20:01:48): i would NOT wanna do that
msevier31 (20:02:32): god theyre all awful
Studlystuf (20:02:38): why is that dumb bitch wearing a tiara
msevier31 (20:02:43): this hurts my heart
msevier31 (20:02:47): which one is wearing a tiara
Studlystuf (20:02:52): the meltdown girl
msevier31 (20:02:53): oh
msevier31 (20:02:57): i think that explains it all
msevier31 (20:03:06): the meltdown and the tiara go hand in hand

[the solo date]
Studlystuf (20:03:10): nasty tits
Studlystuf (20:03:11): fuck
Studlystuf (20:03:12): gross
msevier31 (20:03:14): no yoke
msevier31 (20:03:17): youre 20-what
msevier31 (20:03:22): and your tits are at your button
Studlystuf (20:03:29): maybe she has a kid man
msevier31 (20:03:34): god i love you
msevier31 (20:03:48): she doesnt look incredible
msevier31 (20:03:54): her fuckin tits are saggy and separated
msevier31 (20:04:06): all those chicks want to claw her eyes out right now
Studlystuf (20:04:26): "they're not compatible"
msevier31 (20:04:26): socialite talkin shit
Studlystuf (20:04:27): dont worry
msevier31 (20:04:36): she isnt attractive enough to be a socialite
msevier31 (20:04:50): how great would it be if they got in a wreck

[back to sadie...telling the bachelor she's a virgin]
msevier31 (20:05:52): is this bitch playin the good girl card
msevier31 (20:05:56): tryin to differentiate herself
msevier31 (20:06:02): and did the producers encourage this to the forefront
msevier31 (20:06:10): i guarantee they planted a seed somewhere along the stream
msevier31 (20:06:18): either to get the chicks talking about it so it woudl come out
msevier31 (20:06:22): or so she'd say something to him

[he sends saggytits mcgee packing]
msevier31 (20:13:59): maybe if your tits werent saggy
msevier31 (20:14:05): youre not special
msevier31 (20:14:14): tears are great
msevier31 (20:14:19): haha he took the necklace off her

[she has the meltdown, talks about looking for true love. i blacked out]
msevier31 (20:15:10): true love?
msevier31 (20:15:12): is she serious

[cut to the group date]
Studlystuf (20:21:10): who has the balls to ask that
Studlystuf (20:21:51): who has the balls honestly to be like "give us a moment"
msevier31 (20:21:52): i dont have the balls to do that

[the bachelor is making unfounded conclusions like a sports broadcaster about one of the girls]
msevier31 (20:22:06): IS she beautiful?
msevier31 (20:22:08): is she really?

msevier31 (20:22:34): haha lisa is such a bitch
msevier31 (20:22:41): "this is lame...i really liked my one on one dates"
Studlystuf (20:22:47): haha yes

msevier31 (20:23:05): god, a date with erica and agnese
msevier31 (20:23:08): that would be a nightmare date
msevier31 (20:23:17): 1 crazy bitch, 1 who doesnt speak english
msevier31 (20:23:42): "she is so crazy, but not so beautiful"

[bachelor's reaction to sadie's virgin proclamation]
msevier31 (20:28:59): he's giving her the routine
msevier31 (20:29:07): "ive never dated a virgin"
msevier31 (20:29:09): what a badass
msevier31 (20:29:31): he shoulda grabbed some tit when he leaned in
msevier31 (20:29:39): gotta gauge the reaction

[he pulls lisa aside for some 1-on-1 talking and smooching]
msevier31 (20:30:21): god this guy is lame
msevier31 (20:30:31): that bitch is not attractive or anything
msevier31 (20:30:36): are you getting this
msevier31 (20:30:40): "things are going according to plan"
msevier31 (20:30:46): 5 years man
Studlystuf (20:30:46): "my timeline!!!"
msevier31 (20:30:48): so awesome
msevier31 (20:30:48): yes!
msevier31 (20:30:49): i told you
Studlystuf (20:31:34): was the timeline the one that said this format really works?
msevier31 (20:31:37): yes
msevier31 (20:32:08): shes such a moron

[theyre playing truth or dare and sadie asks who in the house he's kissed, which he dodges by saying everyone b/c he's kissed them on the cheek. POWER!]
msevier31 (20:32:27): oh wow nice question
msevier31 (20:32:59): what a douche
msevier31 (20:33:16): [by douche, i mean well played]
Studlystuf (20:33:41): haha
Studlystuf (20:33:51): "im gonna cry!"
msevier31 (20:33:56): if youre not gonna say "i dont kiss on the lips," you might as well say what he said
msevier31 (20:33:57): hahaha
msevier31 (20:34:02): these bitches are so amazing
msevier31 (20:34:04): the fake crying

msevier31 (20:34:17): he and his awkward kisses are really shattering some barriers

msevier31 (20:34:55): if he doesnt keep desiree around im gonna be angry
msevier31 (20:35:53): god i love the crying socialite routine
msevier31 (20:35:58): "its not even fair!"
Studlystuf (20:35:59): i love the tiara
Studlystuf (20:36:01): period
msevier31 (20:36:03): totally
msevier31 (20:36:15): shes like that idiot on american idol who road around on the scooter
msevier31 (20:36:24): might have even been given the "scooter girl" nickname
msevier31 (20:40:38): its interesting tiara girl thinks the italian is the least attractive one left

[agnese and erica's date...he decides not to go out in rome]
msevier31 (20:41:29): haha he didnt want to take them out in public
Studlystuf (20:42:21): "i think i know you"
msevier31 (20:42:26): haha
msevier31 (20:42:30): and i dont like what i know
msevier31 (20:42:45): hahaha
msevier31 (20:42:49): "7 notches, or like a hundred"
msevier31 (20:42:58): hitler
msevier31 (20:43:00): stop being such a dumbass
Studlystuf (20:44:02): haha
Studlystuf (20:44:05): psycho is spying
msevier31 (20:44:09): of course she is
msevier31 (20:44:19): bitch is crazy
msevier31 (20:44:48): neither one of these broads has any chance in the final 6
msevier31 (20:44:54): or i guess in the final 3
msevier31 (20:44:57): cuz 1 will make the final 6
msevier31 (20:44:59): they shouldnt
msevier31 (20:45:30): meltdown
msevier31 (20:45:33): in 5...
Studlystuf (20:45:36): queue the meltdown
msevier31 (20:46:20): that would be cue

[after the meltdown, she's leaving in the limo, but wants to say a little more]
Studlystuf (20:46:42): rolled the window down!!
Studlystuf (20:46:44): yes!!!
msevier31 (20:46:46): of course she did
msevier31 (20:47:03): if i were him, id hit the roof and send it off
msevier31 (20:47:18): ahahaha
msevier31 (20:47:21): "bc im pretty and im smart"
msevier31 (20:47:23): and im totally amazing
msevier31 (20:47:29): poor little rich girl
msevier31 (20:47:34): what a played out game
msevier31 (20:47:53): ahaha i love people crying
msevier31 (20:48:01): how did i not tune in to this show before
Studlystuf (20:48:15): was she saying gloe equal?
Studlystuf (20:48:16): glow
Studlystuf (20:48:17): low
Studlystuf (20:48:18): go?
Studlystuf (20:48:18): wtf
msevier31 (20:48:20): co-equal

[cut to fireworks and making out with agnese]
msevier31 (20:48:38): cliche cliche
msevier31 (20:48:49): does he just want the italian for the pussy

[back to erica whining in the limo]
msevier31 (20:48:52): ahahaha she's boozing
msevier31 (20:48:56): fuck yeah

msevier31 (20:49:07): dude somethin about desiree does it for me
msevier31 (20:49:10): as long as she doesnt talk
msevier31 (20:49:26): i think it must be the slight charlize shes got in her

msevier31 (20:54:37): bring me desiree
Studlystuf (20:55:13): id blaze it
msevier31 (20:55:17): desiree?
msevier31 (20:55:28): id smoke that shit like a phat blunt
msevier31 (20:55:37): she'd be screamin my name and all sorts of vulgarities
msevier31 (20:55:40): BOOM
msevier31 (20:55:45): thank you lord
msevier31 (20:55:48): just dont talk
msevier31 (20:55:55): unless im hammerin it
Studlystuf (20:55:56): that brunette is kind of hot
Studlystuf (20:55:57): im into it
Studlystuf (20:55:59): that girl
msevier31 (20:56:00): i know man
msevier31 (20:56:01): that pouty face
msevier31 (20:56:10): shes bringin the high heat
msevier31 (20:56:24): definitely over lisa and agnesi and erica
msevier31 (20:56:32): and jeannette
msevier31 (20:56:44): theres something mildly endearing about sadie
msevier31 (20:56:45): hahaha
msevier31 (20:56:48): "i would have given him everything"
msevier31 (20:56:54): "my life, my children...thats why im here"
msevier31 (20:56:57): these fucking gems man
msevier31 (20:57:02): you cant script it any better
msevier31 (20:57:11): if you wrote that script, no one would buy it
Studlystuf (20:57:27): no one but the plumleys
msevier31 (20:57:33): *rimshot*

msevier31 (20:57:48): i think desiree, lisa, and sadie will be the final 3

[previews for future shows, erica is coming back...]
msevier31 (20:58:34): "whats up bitches"

[desiree talking to the other girls about lisa]
Studlystuf (20:59:20): "she knows so much about this show"
Studlystuf (20:59:22): "she knows what works"
Studlystuf (20:59:23): "and what doesnt"
msevier31 (20:59:32): doesnt she know the part where the bachelor upgrades?