i'm in love with a stripper
no...ive still never heard that song. this post is about strippers. let's focus
lets say for a second you are one of those guys who wants to hook up with a stripper (you might even get a rush of adrenalin[e] from time to time). now lets pretend you manage to coerce this coked-out broad thats its time to rumble...
whats the protocol here? does this chick want a lot of foreplay? does she just wanna get railed after all the "teasing" of rubbing her beaver on guys while rollin on X and/or coked out for 3-4 hours?
im thinking its either:
1. she might be surprisingly basic and boring and want lots of kissing and affection since her job is so shallow and base (awesome) OR
2. she's a stripper bc she really IS a freak, and she just wants you to beat that pussy up like you invented it
sadly, i bet there are more of #1 than of #2, but sadly/appropriately, i probably will never find out first hand. call me crazy, but inordinate amounts of drugs and other guys' oral and seminal fluids (in?) all over a chick dont exactly get mr happy at full salute (unless of course, those fluids belong to me and shifta, and we're doing the drugs with her...or slipped them into her drink earlier in the night)
...back to the champagne room
First off; let's dispense with this charade that you're "in love" with anyone but yourself [and me]. We all know love isn't real (much like Canadians, the Holocaust, big-tittied beautiful blonde lesbians, and, well.... Love) But, aside from that -- I'm with you 100%.
Strippers are awesome -- on the outside. Because, as we all know, they're mostly dead on the inside. (her womb is so polluted...)
****as an aside, this [for some reason] reminds me of an exchange I had with my [engaged] brother the other day. I told him that getting married is dreadful;
Me: Marriage is ridiculous
Him: Just wait 'til you're old and lonely
Me: Get a dog
Him: Dogs are stupid
Me: So are women
Him: No they're not!
Me: Well, whatever, I don't want a dog either... too much commitment
*****end of exchange
I'm not sure where I was going with any of this...
Oh yea, I remember.
How is this different than hooking up with any other chick? They're all stained with the cum of [a million] other men. And the majority of them are #1 from your submissions, regardless of their day/night job. They are basic and boring and want lots of affection and kissing [because, let's put it out there, their daddy didn't give them enough attention. OR he gave them too much. Look, pick your disorder; women all fall into a very small number of strains] (and yes, the word "strains" was used over words like types or categories, because it's so fitting and I pay attention to detail) And my penis isn't seeing action [from a second "qualified" party] for a couple of weeks [at least] because of the last few lines. (and by "qualified" I mean hott and skilled)
I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead and get to bed...
lets say for a second you are one of those guys who wants to hook up with a stripper (you might even get a rush of adrenalin[e] from time to time). now lets pretend you manage to coerce this coked-out broad thats its time to rumble...
whats the protocol here? does this chick want a lot of foreplay? does she just wanna get railed after all the "teasing" of rubbing her beaver on guys while rollin on X and/or coked out for 3-4 hours?
im thinking its either:
1. she might be surprisingly basic and boring and want lots of kissing and affection since her job is so shallow and base (awesome) OR
2. she's a stripper bc she really IS a freak, and she just wants you to beat that pussy up like you invented it
sadly, i bet there are more of #1 than of #2, but sadly/appropriately, i probably will never find out first hand. call me crazy, but inordinate amounts of drugs and other guys' oral and seminal fluids (in?) all over a chick dont exactly get mr happy at full salute (unless of course, those fluids belong to me and shifta, and we're doing the drugs with her...or slipped them into her drink earlier in the night)
...back to the champagne room
First off; let's dispense with this charade that you're "in love" with anyone but yourself [and me]. We all know love isn't real (much like Canadians, the Holocaust, big-tittied beautiful blonde lesbians, and, well.... Love) But, aside from that -- I'm with you 100%.
Strippers are awesome -- on the outside. Because, as we all know, they're mostly dead on the inside. (her womb is so polluted...)
****as an aside, this [for some reason] reminds me of an exchange I had with my [engaged] brother the other day. I told him that getting married is dreadful;
Me: Marriage is ridiculous
Him: Just wait 'til you're old and lonely
Me: Get a dog
Him: Dogs are stupid
Me: So are women
Him: No they're not!
Me: Well, whatever, I don't want a dog either... too much commitment
*****end of exchange
I'm not sure where I was going with any of this...
Oh yea, I remember.
How is this different than hooking up with any other chick? They're all stained with the cum of [a million] other men. And the majority of them are #1 from your submissions, regardless of their day/night job. They are basic and boring and want lots of affection and kissing [because, let's put it out there, their daddy didn't give them enough attention. OR he gave them too much. Look, pick your disorder; women all fall into a very small number of strains] (and yes, the word "strains" was used over words like types or categories, because it's so fitting and I pay attention to detail) And my penis isn't seeing action [from a second "qualified" party] for a couple of weeks [at least] because of the last few lines. (and by "qualified" I mean hott and skilled)
I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead and get to bed...
posted by bruce dickinson at 2/11/2006 09:58:00 PM
2 Comments:
here is the thing - the women that go to the strippers are easy - so don't go with the strippers themselves, go with the ladies that go there to A) watch the strippers and drink and get rowdy (ie horney) or B) go to the strippers to pick up men.
Everyone loves a stripper! Who doesn't like silly titties in their face?
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