stoooore
so i went to the grocery store this morning, where i have been buying my groceries since last august (thats around 13 months for you descartes out there) ... a few things worth noting
1. i thought the lady who checked me out had the most personality (and perhaps intelligence) of anyone who had checked me out there before. she was ebullient and fairly eloquent (read: not ghetto fabulous) for a checker.
then i realized she was actually a robot. i think she greets each customer the exact same way and gives the same responses to questions. there goes that idea
2. i happened to be paying attention to the screen when she rang my apples up. 4 bucks for 6 red delicious apples? excuse me? it says 1.44/pound on the screen, but the sign clearly said .98 a pound. and yes i can read. trust me, i know my apples, and red delicious are clearly the "cheap" apples. so as i was opening my mouth to raise the issue, something else entered my mind...i thought back to the time i realized that this genius store has miskeyed their computers to charge the tax rate -- on the receipt it says something like 8.25% tax, but it clearly is .0825% ... through the miracle of modern morons, this error has gone unnoticed for at least a year.
how do i know? i used to save my receipts, which i referenced upon the recent discovery. im a big winner, i know.
so, i figured i owe them a little bit. theyre probably saving me 100-150 bucks a month in just taxes, so we'll call it a wash ;)
3. finally, i saw a father and son duo at the store. this dad was awesome -- his son was happy and giggling most of the time. when he got him out of the cart to put him in the car seat, he made some motorized/airplane noise, and the kid giggled once again. i wanted to thank this man for treating his child so well, and not turning him into a noisy brat that i wanted to shake violently.
watching this "joyful" interaction made me want kids...at least for a minute. then i came home and poured bleach on my penis
1. i thought the lady who checked me out had the most personality (and perhaps intelligence) of anyone who had checked me out there before. she was ebullient and fairly eloquent (read: not ghetto fabulous) for a checker.
then i realized she was actually a robot. i think she greets each customer the exact same way and gives the same responses to questions. there goes that idea
2. i happened to be paying attention to the screen when she rang my apples up. 4 bucks for 6 red delicious apples? excuse me? it says 1.44/pound on the screen, but the sign clearly said .98 a pound. and yes i can read. trust me, i know my apples, and red delicious are clearly the "cheap" apples. so as i was opening my mouth to raise the issue, something else entered my mind...i thought back to the time i realized that this genius store has miskeyed their computers to charge the tax rate -- on the receipt it says something like 8.25% tax, but it clearly is .0825% ... through the miracle of modern morons, this error has gone unnoticed for at least a year.
how do i know? i used to save my receipts, which i referenced upon the recent discovery. im a big winner, i know.
so, i figured i owe them a little bit. theyre probably saving me 100-150 bucks a month in just taxes, so we'll call it a wash ;)
3. finally, i saw a father and son duo at the store. this dad was awesome -- his son was happy and giggling most of the time. when he got him out of the cart to put him in the car seat, he made some motorized/airplane noise, and the kid giggled once again. i wanted to thank this man for treating his child so well, and not turning him into a noisy brat that i wanted to shake violently.
watching this "joyful" interaction made me want kids...at least for a minute. then i came home and poured bleach on my penis
posted by bruce dickinson at 9/16/2006 08:47:00 AM
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