dickinsonian thoughts

1. being a bachelor: we here at the red n mesh express are consummate bachelors, and we aim to keep it that way indefinitely. with this awesome reality comes the question, "how long is this do-able?" i think a number of factors come into play, including how old you actually are, how old you look, how much money you have, where youre going, how youre acting, and even what city youre in.

a. how old you actually are: hey, even heff is getting mad amounts of pussy at an old age (this may be due to stardom and/or money. more on this later). some chicks are messed up in the head and have serious daddy issues. find them [small towns, strip clubs, group therapy sessions] and a steady prescription of viagra or cialis.
b. how old you look: some of us thankfully have babyfaces, which should enable us to sustain this ruse a little longer without extra effort. chicks like older guys, even "normal" chicks. thats bc men are SO immature compared to women. yeah, women are so mature and complex *rimshot*
c. how much money you've got: plain and simple, it's like legalized prostitution. money, power, respect (or is it money, cash, hoes?)
d. where youre going/how youre acting: we'll lump this into one. you cant be the greasy guy who is rubbing up on young babies at a club. be the sack, and she'll come to you. i think this is where it comes in handy to know a bartender or some younger friends as an "in" -- she might not be able to know just how money you are until you break that rugged exterior (insert your own jokes here)
e. what city youre in: i think for some reason bachelorhood is ok later in life on the coast. maybe im wrong but i definitely get the idea of more bachelors in LA, whale's vagina (saint diego, to some), NY, etc. dont worry, red n mesh will lead the movement toward older bachelors throughout the heart of america

other things to consider:
if you have any bachelor friends- let's face it, without them, youre gonna be a lonely guy on a mission without reliable homeys (no "ride or die" niggas, in other words)
if youre attractive: this is always a factor, in anything in life.
act as if / always be closing: your attitude can overcome some appearance flaws. look at all the ugly guys getting badass chicks.


2. creepy guys: is it possible for an attractive man to be considered creepy? not someone you think is objectively attractive or that many people find attractive...i mean is it possible for a female to find a guy she doesnt know to be attractive, yet still creepy?
my answer on this one is no, it isnt possible.
how much of a free pass is being attractive on the creepy scale though? it cant be carte blanche, so where do you draw the line?


3. these boots were made for walkin: look, if its warm enough to wear that cute mini you bought on sale at wet seal (or sluts R us, wherever you go), im just not sure about those boots youre wearing. unless it's halloween (and probably even if it is halloween), youre most likely going to look more like a streetwalker than a sophisticated lady. but hey, its all a part of the journey, right?
im not saying i have a problem with you looking like this [unless youre fat], just wanted to give you the head's up


sorry for the rambling part about being a bachelor. its not even funny or insightful, so to pay homage to bill simmons, i will now pour boiling water down my pants