corporate drones without a queen

so, here's the deal. im in law school -- if you ask me why, the answer you'll get may depend on who you are or how i feel on that particular day. that isnt a joke, so stop laughing, fatso.
essentially (i didnt want to get a job yet) i dont have an interest in the traditional law firm path. i have a business background, and i am more interested in the business side of things than the law side. i just want the legal knowledge [and to delay getting a job].
well, as you might imagine, the career services in the law school doesnt help much for us non-traditional kids b/c they have to pad SMU's numbers with people being hired by the big firms, etc. i understand it to some extent, but its still frustrating.
thus, i am left to my own devices, for the most part...

so ive been putting in some time, searching and researching [thats not re-searching, for the record], and i have found some places that i might be interested in.
naturally their websites are a maze of clicks. usually you cant even contact someone directly, or if you can, its like info@thebiz.com or something. you have no idea where its going, or if theyll even read it and take it seriously, let alone to whom you should address it.
the other option is applying for a specific position they have available. the reason for this is b/c you cant upload your resume directly to a lot of their sites -- you have to "have an interest" in a specific job, then submit your resume. quite backwards.
what this means is that if you actually want a job with these firms, you have to jump through hoops and bide your time until you hear back from some corporate paper-pushing lackey, or that their automated computer service hits one of your supposed qualifications and you get an email to contact someone.

here's what ive experienced with a couple of these sites...
i email a specific question with my little schpiel "i am in law school but i dont want a legal job, per se" blah blah and i want to know if they have any summer opportunities.

well these bastards always fire some canned response that involves "because of the great number of applications we receive" and then directions on how to search their website for a job. its insanely circular, and im pretty sure the assholes who send these emails out dont even bother to read most emails as soon as they see something about summer or jobs. copy + paste the standard form and shoot off the email. thanks, dick [or andy, in this case]

how am i supposed to get a job [or even an interview] with you if i can never get in touch with someone who isnt a trained [monkey] robot?

makes you wonder if the september 11th guys just got frustrated trying to get in touch with some of the companies in the twin towers and got tired of placating emails from corporate drones.
in related news, this website may not be up much longer, and i may be under constant surveillance by the government. if you dont hear from me for a while, come visit me in guantanamo