Sunday, October 02, 2005

If you dont have a Y, you need not apply: why it's okay to forgive your boy

look, the other title was bros before hoes, and thats just played out, son

Okay, let me start by clarifying that I do not condone getting with your boy’s woman, unless he’s waving you in (and if your boy gets a lot of hot wool, just hope he is like Dale Sveum and waving you in no matter what). So make sure you get that thumbs up before knockin.
That being said, people get drunk, people make bad decisions, guys [and girls] can get horny and act without thinking (see previous post “age of awesome”).

Here’s why I say that you should be mad at your boy, but forgive him…and leave the chick to get an incurable STD: Your boy, even if you haven’t been down for years and years, is going to have your back on a lot more than the girl is – sorry ladies, it is human nature; plus, you were probably going to get tired of her soon anyways. Guys also think with their penis and only claim to buy into that “love” thing so their penis can get some love (via some hot orifice, hopefully).

Girls actually buy into this love (for more on this, see the various AIM fun posts) and commitment thing though, so for her to be a raging whore and get with your boy is just inexcusable. If she gets with one, what’s to stop her from throat-fucking every frat buddy or cousin of yours she meets? And let’s be honest, you’ve seen your frat buddies in the shower, and you definitely don’t want THOSE souvenirs. (You want your own where you cannot determine their origin, right?)

Here’s the deal – you don’t get drunk and then call your buddy at 2 in the morning and want to “hang out” with him. No, you want him around, and you make a sober decision to invite him over. After all, he’s the guy bailing you out of jail (or looking through the bars at you while you’re in detox), sitting around for hours drinking and playing video games with you, going to Vegas with you and making sure you don’t get your blackout-drunk-ass destroyed by a group of 10 large guys…and every other awesome/worthless male “bonding” activity. You actually want to sit around and shoot the shit with him, rather than wondering when he is going to leave/pass out.

On the other hand…

I may have to become celibate after this goes up

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