cornucopia of emotion (a thanksgiving tribute to breaking up)
this is for you shifta, and i'd like to think we had something to do with it, though i think even i could only claim the very smallest amount of "responsibility" here
the aforementioned getting-married-this-summer (and doesnt like PTI) guy told me he's not getting married any more, so the reaction is of course "i'm...sorry(?)"
of course he knows my MO (thats modus operandi for you non-scholars), and he expected the reaction...but i think we can all be happy about his pre-nuptial enlightenment, even if the chick was cool and could drink her bodyweight in beer
but this raises so many other questions -- how DO you react? you gotta be supportive of your boy goin through some shit, but you also gotta celebrate a huge victory for "team awesome" when one of the tagged ones is re-released into the wild
does this automatically qualify him for the captain of conversion? i mean he's been down that road, facing one vagina for the rest of his life, but he was smart enough to back out before it was too late. can we use this to enlighten others? should we even bother?
so, i think im partially responsible b/c i know it was a reminder of his past indiscretions (read: enjoyment/freedom to get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions), and i could swear there was a glint in his eye today that i hadnt seen before...i get the feeling that if there were more attractive females at his disposal, it would be freedom/fuckfest 2k6, but maybe it will be anyways
thats my man of the week- there arent too many better ways to ameliorate yourself than breaking up an engagement...now we need to move to phase 2: debauchery and wanton sexual activity
----we salute you, mr. break-off-your-engagement man
I think your "I'm sorry" was the appropriate response. And by appropriate, I mean what tactful and empathetic people would do. And by tactful and empathetic, I mean boring. Which is in contrast to my completely predictable "hm, typical" reaction. Oh wow, young kids getting engaged and NOT actually getting married -- where have I seen this before? Oh yea! Everywhere! Couldn't have called that one. I find that if you say that about every engagement (Psh, they'll never get married) then you're going to be right 70-80% of the time. I'll take those odds, playa. It's so trendy to be engaged these days (no fucking idea why) but so terrifying (for men) to actually go through with it. (Not to mention that women will seek out multiple opportunities to go cra.... get upset about... whatever. So sometimes they are the ones breaking off the engagement. But, as we all know, if the girl breaks it off, that just means they're getting back together in a few days; a la no conviction to be 'alone'. But if the guy does it, chances are its fade to black, over & out.)
I don't want to rant about marriage too much (why? for one, I value my sex life. for two, I want to address your post, Bruce.) But, if I may be allowed to drift, slightly--
Look, since we can all agree that marriage is an unnatural state; why are people still doing it? This boggles the mind. The best I can figure; women get married for 6 reasons:
1) Stability
2) The ring
3) Cos all of their friends are doing it
[btw, all of those constitute one giant umbrella reason; validation]
4) Estrogen
5) Babies
6) Denial
There you have it!
(let me just say, I was gonna leave it at this, but I'm playing with fire here. I don't think it would be wise for my aformentioned sex life to just point out the "good" reasons women get married. So I'm gonna have to pick on the XY crowd a little) As for reasons why men get married; still can't pin that one down. But I'll give it a shot...
1) Guaranteed sex for a while
2) You can wear whatever you want at this point
3) Cheating is just more fun than normal hook-ups
4) Tax break
5) You can wear whatever you w.... you get the point
I guess it's so they'll have something to live their lives around? Some guys are convinced (by 'her' and by 'it' and by his family) that they've "found a good one". Oooookkkkk, but how good? Good enough to volunteer for a life sentence? I'm not sure how this works. How is this not prison? If you showed me a tiny 3x3 foot jail cell, and said I had to live in that the rest of my life; but the "upside" was that my best friend was also gonna be in there with me; I'm definitely signing up for that. No!
What about if it's a luxurious mansion with an all-inclusive hollywood hills lifestyle, you girls are asking. Well, am I allowed to visit other homes? Can I leave the hills for a week if I want? Is there any international travel involved? The answer is obviously "no, no, and no!" Mmmm, I think I'm gonna have to turn this one down too. ("Even the Garden of Eden was just a big fancy cage.")
Alright, let's get back on the track. I derailed up there...
Did you offer the kid any words of encouragement? I would have. Explain to him that there's gonna be punani galore for the next few weeks. (especially at that SMU brothel, I mean, law school) You never know how many femmes were "waiting it out". Hoping, praying that the engagement would "wear off" or "run its course" (like a bad trip on blotter) and he would be single again. AND on the rebound. Play it up, oscar. Clock in, play the part of the man in despair, knock the dust off your no-no part and thank the academy when it's all over.
I like that he's your man of the week. It's interesting that he went from the lowest of lows on our scale of cool (getting engaged) to the highest of highs ("getting" single/awesome).
This reminds me of my last post about wedding gifts. Is there any chance he could/should get some gifts out of this? Breaking it off, I mean. I think that deserves something (other than all the play he's gonna parlay this into). I would suggest condoms, but we know only sailors and -- well, just sailors I guess -- use condoms!
I too salute you! Thanks for coming back to the dark side. Even though I don't want the extra competition, seeing as though you actually got engaged, you're clearly not competition for me; not quite up to this level, kid. (you may be back on the shelf, but not the TOP SHELF)
the aforementioned getting-married-this-summer (and doesnt like PTI) guy told me he's not getting married any more, so the reaction is of course "i'm...sorry(?)"
of course he knows my MO (thats modus operandi for you non-scholars), and he expected the reaction...but i think we can all be happy about his pre-nuptial enlightenment, even if the chick was cool and could drink her bodyweight in beer
but this raises so many other questions -- how DO you react? you gotta be supportive of your boy goin through some shit, but you also gotta celebrate a huge victory for "team awesome" when one of the tagged ones is re-released into the wild
does this automatically qualify him for the captain of conversion? i mean he's been down that road, facing one vagina for the rest of his life, but he was smart enough to back out before it was too late. can we use this to enlighten others? should we even bother?
so, i think im partially responsible b/c i know it was a reminder of his past indiscretions (read: enjoyment/freedom to get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions), and i could swear there was a glint in his eye today that i hadnt seen before...i get the feeling that if there were more attractive females at his disposal, it would be freedom/fuckfest 2k6, but maybe it will be anyways
thats my man of the week- there arent too many better ways to ameliorate yourself than breaking up an engagement...now we need to move to phase 2: debauchery and wanton sexual activity
----we salute you, mr. break-off-your-engagement man
I think your "I'm sorry" was the appropriate response. And by appropriate, I mean what tactful and empathetic people would do. And by tactful and empathetic, I mean boring. Which is in contrast to my completely predictable "hm, typical" reaction. Oh wow, young kids getting engaged and NOT actually getting married -- where have I seen this before? Oh yea! Everywhere! Couldn't have called that one. I find that if you say that about every engagement (Psh, they'll never get married) then you're going to be right 70-80% of the time. I'll take those odds, playa. It's so trendy to be engaged these days (no fucking idea why) but so terrifying (for men) to actually go through with it. (Not to mention that women will seek out multiple opportunities to go cra.... get upset about... whatever. So sometimes they are the ones breaking off the engagement. But, as we all know, if the girl breaks it off, that just means they're getting back together in a few days; a la no conviction to be 'alone'. But if the guy does it, chances are its fade to black, over & out.)
I don't want to rant about marriage too much (why? for one, I value my sex life. for two, I want to address your post, Bruce.) But, if I may be allowed to drift, slightly--
Look, since we can all agree that marriage is an unnatural state; why are people still doing it? This boggles the mind. The best I can figure; women get married for 6 reasons:
1) Stability
2) The ring
3) Cos all of their friends are doing it
[btw, all of those constitute one giant umbrella reason; validation]
4) Estrogen
5) Babies
6) Denial
There you have it!
(let me just say, I was gonna leave it at this, but I'm playing with fire here. I don't think it would be wise for my aformentioned sex life to just point out the "good" reasons women get married. So I'm gonna have to pick on the XY crowd a little) As for reasons why men get married; still can't pin that one down. But I'll give it a shot...
1) Guaranteed sex for a while
2) You can wear whatever you want at this point
3) Cheating is just more fun than normal hook-ups
4) Tax break
5) You can wear whatever you w.... you get the point
I guess it's so they'll have something to live their lives around? Some guys are convinced (by 'her' and by 'it' and by his family) that they've "found a good one". Oooookkkkk, but how good? Good enough to volunteer for a life sentence? I'm not sure how this works. How is this not prison? If you showed me a tiny 3x3 foot jail cell, and said I had to live in that the rest of my life; but the "upside" was that my best friend was also gonna be in there with me; I'm definitely signing up for that. No!
What about if it's a luxurious mansion with an all-inclusive hollywood hills lifestyle, you girls are asking. Well, am I allowed to visit other homes? Can I leave the hills for a week if I want? Is there any international travel involved? The answer is obviously "no, no, and no!" Mmmm, I think I'm gonna have to turn this one down too. ("Even the Garden of Eden was just a big fancy cage.")
Alright, let's get back on the track. I derailed up there...
Did you offer the kid any words of encouragement? I would have. Explain to him that there's gonna be punani galore for the next few weeks. (especially at that SMU brothel, I mean, law school) You never know how many femmes were "waiting it out". Hoping, praying that the engagement would "wear off" or "run its course" (like a bad trip on blotter) and he would be single again. AND on the rebound. Play it up, oscar. Clock in, play the part of the man in despair, knock the dust off your no-no part and thank the academy when it's all over.
I like that he's your man of the week. It's interesting that he went from the lowest of lows on our scale of cool (getting engaged) to the highest of highs ("getting" single/awesome).
This reminds me of my last post about wedding gifts. Is there any chance he could/should get some gifts out of this? Breaking it off, I mean. I think that deserves something (other than all the play he's gonna parlay this into). I would suggest condoms, but we know only sailors and -- well, just sailors I guess -- use condoms!
I too salute you! Thanks for coming back to the dark side. Even though I don't want the extra competition, seeing as though you actually got engaged, you're clearly not competition for me; not quite up to this level, kid. (you may be back on the shelf, but not the TOP SHELF)
posted by bruce dickinson at 11/21/2005 12:23:00 PM
3 Comments:
Meaning for one, please . . .
Alright, my children, query this: Are you necessarily a nihilist if sarcasm has become “ur”(for you, bruce) sole source of meaning? After slaving over the Law for damn near 3 months, I find people asking me more and more if I am serious or even capable of genuine communication. I am beginning to feel like one of Dostoyevsky’s “anti-heroes” ~ content to live within my alienation and distorted sense of reality, yet taken aback when people constantly misunderstand me. Am I loosing my grip on “sanity” (whatever that is) if, like bruce, my mind has become a broken record that regurgitates my favorite movie quotes and passages (See Bill Murray’s masterful soliloquy on Caddyshack about jumping ship in Hong Kong and caddying for the Dalai Lama) over and over? As an aside, just to really inflame you boys, I believe marriage is a more legitimate option than shaving “ur” whole body and spewing über-hetero rhetoric constantly in a thinly veiled attempt to embody some romantic urban ideal of being a hustla, playa, balla, or whatever garbage the latest rap-star calls himself. And yes, you almost certainly do get more pussy than me, but that’s because I am overweight, unattractive, under-endowed, and am content to stay home and squeeze a couple off. I must away.
He was a philosophy major - I guess he gets a pass on this one.
...they're all the same, those kids...
props on the "international travel" reference -- no seriously, i'm really uncomfortable now.
Post a Comment
<< Home