dear santa...
dear santa,
i know i'm not on your nice list. hell, you probably erased my name from contention in that database a few years back. so lets just be candid here - naughty people deserve (and get) presents, too...
the big request this year is abortion. some of my other fellow naughty-listers probably already have written you to request this, but i thought we should cover all our bases, just in case something might have gotten "lost in the mail." you understand...
with so many dirty (and quite fertile) women running around here, its difficult to make the stomach-punching and stair-pushing rounds this year...and you know i cant afford all those "operations" either.
lets see, if you cant get that, i'll have to think of other ways to deal with that...hmm, bavaria is lovely, from what i remember...
one final request (for now) -- how about a beautiful baby who turns 16 on christmas morning? you know how i like 'em santa...we have the same taste. so pick out a chick you'd normally spring for, and tack on 3 years, then send her my way
thanks
bruce
Ah, abortions & the holidays. They go together like red n' meth, tea n' crumpets, this blog n' controversy, and Bruce & minors -- A match made in heaven, my friends.
Speaking of abortions -- this brings to mind a Taking Back Sunday lyric -- "just hoping for the best, just hoping nothing happens" then again, in the same song, my man says, "this all was only wishful thinking" so.... there's that.
Allow me one quick departure? I knew you would...
Bruce, you're disgusting!
Sexual abuse is NOT funny -- especially when young children are involved -- and by jesting about it you're just making light of a very serious issue. You're putting on display a behavior that is sick and twisted, and by laughing about it (you must have a "sense of humor") you're implying that it's "okay". I don't even know why I continue to talk to you (because it couldn't be that I have no conviction...)
P.S. Dear Santa, just put me down for the same as Bruce... Thanks. Oh! Also, I'll take two 16 year olds instead of just one.
i know i'm not on your nice list. hell, you probably erased my name from contention in that database a few years back. so lets just be candid here - naughty people deserve (and get) presents, too...
the big request this year is abortion. some of my other fellow naughty-listers probably already have written you to request this, but i thought we should cover all our bases, just in case something might have gotten "lost in the mail." you understand...
with so many dirty (and quite fertile) women running around here, its difficult to make the stomach-punching and stair-pushing rounds this year...and you know i cant afford all those "operations" either.
lets see, if you cant get that, i'll have to think of other ways to deal with that...hmm, bavaria is lovely, from what i remember...
one final request (for now) -- how about a beautiful baby who turns 16 on christmas morning? you know how i like 'em santa...we have the same taste. so pick out a chick you'd normally spring for, and tack on 3 years, then send her my way
thanks
bruce
Ah, abortions & the holidays. They go together like red n' meth, tea n' crumpets, this blog n' controversy, and Bruce & minors -- A match made in heaven, my friends.
Speaking of abortions -- this brings to mind a Taking Back Sunday lyric -- "just hoping for the best, just hoping nothing happens" then again, in the same song, my man says, "this all was only wishful thinking" so.... there's that.
Allow me one quick departure? I knew you would...
Bruce, you're disgusting!
Sexual abuse is NOT funny -- especially when young children are involved -- and by jesting about it you're just making light of a very serious issue. You're putting on display a behavior that is sick and twisted, and by laughing about it (you must have a "sense of humor") you're implying that it's "okay". I don't even know why I continue to talk to you (because it couldn't be that I have no conviction...)
P.S. Dear Santa, just put me down for the same as Bruce... Thanks. Oh! Also, I'll take two 16 year olds instead of just one.
posted by bruce dickinson at 12/11/2005 02:30:00 PM
3 Comments:
i think we're getting ahead of ourselves a bit here... i'm asking santa for pure pleasure FIRST, a wire hanger SECOND.
And I am asking Santa that you all go to hell... put he'd reply that you are headed there anyway, So I'd re-ask for an I-pod.
we've got first class seats, right next to gandhi and mother theresa. you wont be getting that ipod either, unless santa knows how to "Ebay" b/c that shit is sold out like hot pussy on a saturday night, dig?
flowers, i know you dont do anything productive, so why dont you drop an eastern philosophy nugget on us, with a little hint of pop culture? any sort of tasty lick you might have would be delightful
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