Back From The Dead

Hello Again--

So, I've been inundated with emails from readers asking why I haven't posted in so long. I'd like to address it, if I may.

First off, let me just say how flattered I am that you all miss reading Shifta's contribution to society (yes, this is the only one I make). It really means a lot to me that you take the time to come here and yada yada yada, whatever, I'm bored.

Ok, secondly, I felt like the April 1st post could never really be topped, (or the oral sex oration) so I pretty much hung it up after that. Sure, sure, I mailed in a few performances since then, but nothing worth the desktop they're written on.

Thirdly; Bruce & I share a brain (and a personality, and... actually about 90% of the girls we know... weird...) Anyway, and since he's in law school right now, he needs it. So I've really got nothing to contribute because I'm unable to think critically about the issues. The issues, people!

Lastly; I have a theory. Bruce & I only have like 2 or 3 jokes that we tell. We've virtually no original thoughts and our conversations are always about the same meaningless drivel. A copy of a copy of a copy... See, there I go again. I think we exhausted all of our material within the first 3 or 4 months of the blog.

I know what you're all saying...
"But shifta, the method is flawless! It's all deadly, baby! We love how you drop the science!"

But the truth is, you're all glib...