"i havent been cheated on" - think again, tons of fun
its human nature, sorry.
if youve been in any sort of system of organized relationships, just assume youve been cheated on. in the long run, it will be easier, and you will be slightly less naive and ignorant (and glib?) than those jesus camp kids.
i know, you think youre above being cheated on. youre AMAZING looking, or youre totally trusting/trustworthy, or you dated a saint. sorry, i appreciate you stopping by, and i hope you stay classy, but youve [probably] been cheated on.
why? people get bored. people are interested in what else is out there. its the same reason someone doesnt have pizza for every meal. or some sort of amazing dessert every time. what if youre missing out on something even better?! not possible, right? god, you ARE glib.
im gonna tell you no one is immune to this. a minister at my old church who had been married for years and had grown kids. the virgin youth pastor i worked with at the restaurant where i worked, cheated on his FIANCE like a month or two before their wedding (i think it was that close to the date. regardless, he was engaged, and a virgin, and a youth pastor. he didnt fuck, but he still got the titty!)
ive been with girls who had boyfriends (and did shit with me they wouldnt do with their boyfriends bc im awesome like that) and their boyfriends didnt know.
i could provide other amazing examples but that would put certain readers (and writers) of this blog at significant risk, so i will leave it at that.
sure, you had the perfect 5 year relationship. she cheated on you, dude. she had that "family vacation" or "summer camp" or "girls night" [thats the best one] or you went out of town or whatever. she tasted another guy's juices while you were together.
its not so bad, really. shes just ahead of the evolution curve. let's just hope you got your fuck on with some bad bitches, too. otherwise youre just a little schoolboy bitch who got cheated on...and you sound like a gay.
[ed. note -- i assumed you would figure out this is applicable to both sexes, because everyone knows guys cheat. i think you can make the necessary mental leaps, mensa]
if youve been in any sort of system of organized relationships, just assume youve been cheated on. in the long run, it will be easier, and you will be slightly less naive and ignorant (and glib?) than those jesus camp kids.
i know, you think youre above being cheated on. youre AMAZING looking, or youre totally trusting/trustworthy, or you dated a saint. sorry, i appreciate you stopping by, and i hope you stay classy, but youve [probably] been cheated on.
why? people get bored. people are interested in what else is out there. its the same reason someone doesnt have pizza for every meal. or some sort of amazing dessert every time. what if youre missing out on something even better?! not possible, right? god, you ARE glib.
im gonna tell you no one is immune to this. a minister at my old church who had been married for years and had grown kids. the virgin youth pastor i worked with at the restaurant where i worked, cheated on his FIANCE like a month or two before their wedding (i think it was that close to the date. regardless, he was engaged, and a virgin, and a youth pastor. he didnt fuck, but he still got the titty!)
ive been with girls who had boyfriends (and did shit with me they wouldnt do with their boyfriends bc im awesome like that) and their boyfriends didnt know.
i could provide other amazing examples but that would put certain readers (and writers) of this blog at significant risk, so i will leave it at that.
sure, you had the perfect 5 year relationship. she cheated on you, dude. she had that "family vacation" or "summer camp" or "girls night" [thats the best one] or you went out of town or whatever. she tasted another guy's juices while you were together.
its not so bad, really. shes just ahead of the evolution curve. let's just hope you got your fuck on with some bad bitches, too. otherwise youre just a little schoolboy bitch who got cheated on...and you sound like a gay.
[ed. note -- i assumed you would figure out this is applicable to both sexes, because everyone knows guys cheat. i think you can make the necessary mental leaps, mensa]
posted by bruce dickinson at 9/16/2006 06:19:00 PM
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