Run Tell 'em You Heard HOV New Shit

this is a from our close friend at espn.com (page 2)

Q: Can you explain what the differences are, if any, between adult film stars and reality TV stars? I think the line has been significantly blurred over the last five years, and my buddies and I need some help differentiating the two groups.-- Richard in Austin, TX

SG: That's a tough one. Both groups are willing to do whatever it takes to humiliate themselves on camera, as long as it keeps them in the limelight. Both groups hang out with another off the set and date mostly each other. Both groups age at an astonishingly fast rate from all the partying. Both groups think they will parlay the gig into something bigger, although they never do. Both openly have sex on camera (although reality stars pull blankets over themselves). But there's one crucial difference -- no porn star would ever do what Johnny Fairplay did to Trish on the last episode of "Kill Reality."

----amazing, right. i know

msevier31: so he's preying on insecure younger chicks
msevier31: our game, just he's at a shitty level
----game? i dont think the other side knows we're playing a game...

Studlystuf: fuck, i wish i didn't drink so much
Studlystuf: my nights get so hazy
msevier31: take that back
msevier31: it hurts daddy
----you don't mean that!! you don't!!


Studlystuf: i love when girls try to play the "it's not my boyfriend... i made the decision" card
msevier31: of course
Studlystuf: ..after he told me i had to...
msevier31: i made an informed decision after he told me he didnt like it and didnt want me going
----i wonder what it's like to be/be with someone that insecure?


Studlystuf: i wish she would lose weight
Studlystuf: and stop talking
msevier31: seriously
----why does this have to be about someone in particular?


msevier31: i fuck through the hole in my boxers
----*giggle*


msevier31: he plumleyed you?
----this is a really good stand-alone comment. it has so many potential meanings


msevier31: the holocaust never happened
----also a good stand-alone


Studlystuf: 20, unfortuantely
Studlystuf: that's only slightly past the prime
msevier31: yeah, only 7-8 years
Studlystuf: that's why i dont understand girls who think they're soooo money and everyone should want them
Studlystuf: look, honey, there is a new model coming off the assembly line DAILY
msevier31: daily, bitch...daily
Studlystuf: you better be doing SOMETHING (and we all know what) to convince me i shouldnt trade-in for the upgrade
----younger, tighter, less confident, more naive and willing to please


msevier31: that long without any nookie
msevier31: or an orgasm induced by a third party
msevier31: that will do shit to a guy
----truly, madly, deeply...


Me: Are any of them hot?
Friend: im not sure, its hard to tell at this point, i think they might be high enough on the scale
Friend: but also, my scale is a sliding scale, based on how recent i got some
Me: "any port in a storm"
----you know what im saying


msevier31: "AANNNND THE REASON IIIIIIS YOU!!!" *tears* *turns car around*
----this needs no context


msevier31: she used to be cute but shes just fat and insane now
msevier31: shes turning into a female version of plumley
----ah, mighty kong


msevier31: what happens when a guy without eyes cries?
msevier31: or has the emotion to cry
msevier31: does fluid still come out of somewhere?
Studlystuf: his pussy maybe?
----what is this salty discharge?


msevier31: i think she claims to be a super good girl christian type
msevier31: which probably means she sucks a mad dick
----true knocking


LizRau: liz and i are friends with these guys, and one of them actually said "fucking her is like fucking a wall...she wont move, she just kind of lays on top of me and is sloppy and gross" -- "so why do you fuck her?" -- "she's there and in my face and i cant get rid of her"
----good answer


Studlystuf: id put it in her butt
Studlystuf: cos thats how I roll
msevier31: only if she had blonde hair though
Studlystuf: hopefully she doesnt have hair
Studlystuf: if she does -- i dont care what color it is -- im not doing shit with her
msevier31: hahaha
msevier31: im not talkin about the cooch
msevier31: sicko
----... I wasn't either, I was talking about the hiney-hole


msevier31: "i have cancer and jungle fever...and tonight, one of them is gonna get cured"
----thanks beautiful...


msevier31: are we just going to officially change his name to facesaver?
msevier31: he's like a good aftershave balm
----trying to save face is so... balmy?


msevier31: you dont have to have money to do nothin man
msevier31: look at plumley - he's broke, dont do shit
----guilty as charged


msevier31: i dont mean to make a plumley comment but im not sure i know what diet coke tastes like without alcohol in it
----nor should you my friend


Studlystuf: only push over pussies have kids like that
msevier31: well, right, like if plumley ever
(a) had money
(b) found a chick
(c) convinced her to have sex
(d) produced viable semen, resulting in a daughter
msevier31: its an exhausting list
Studlystuf: wow, you're slaying me -- i know you're not gonna let me put that where it belongs
Studlystuf: forever archived
msevier31: oh no way, thats fair game
Studlystuf: is it?
msevier31: why not, its over a 3 hour drive to dallas
msevier31: he'd get too busy in thoughts about stewiee to make it this far
msevier31: he'd crash or have to turn around to send an email
Studlystuf: just in case, keep some spackle on hand
----somebody just lit the fuse...


LarMicMac7: funny blogs, btw
Studlystuf: thanks, i enjoy this
LarMicMac7: exploiting your friends?
Studlystuf: yes
----if you can't take pleasure in that, what can you take pleasure in?


starryskyo: Have you returned to your alma mater yet?
Studlystuf: alochol? loose women?
----I never really left


starryskyo: I try my best to work things in... I'll probably get stoned tonight instead of doing my homework, have a little sex, and pass out
----Put me down for two of those


Gbradley232: iv slowly started to resent my life... in fact.. living here is slowly turning me into plumley
Gbradley232: ahhhh
Gbradley232: fuck.. i just put a hole in my wall
----no line is un-crossable


Studlystuf: she was just chill and cool
msevier31: maybe she was on valium
----always a possibility...


msevier31: i think that girl is unstable
Studlystuf: totally
msevier31: she is as stable as plumley man
----that stable?


Studlystuf: my cruise was leaving out of new orleans, in december, and it was gonna cost about $260 to fly there, but then this "disaster" hit, right
Studlystuf: so now they've moved it to the houston port
msevier31: gorgeous
Studlystuf: roundtrip--- $152
Studlystuf: katrina just saved me $100
msevier31: thats astounding
msevier31: you should give that 100 to the survivors
Studlystuf: uh... yeah
msevier31: sorry, i couldnt say that with a straight face
msevier31: bc im a calloused fuck
Studlystuf: hey i got fucking problems too, alright -- not all my digital cable channels are coming through -- so i dont wanna hear about someone else's TERRIBLE situation
----seriously... it sucks. My cable company is coming out in 2 days, but im very pissed off...


Brandon says: yea, unless you have something better to do
Amy says: I dont
Brandon says: like live off of your parents, a la brandon
Amy says: my parents would laugh in my face if I told them I wanted to live off of them
Brandon says: my parents would laugh in my face if i told them i wanted them to cut me off
----what? sue me!


Studlystuf: so she was on X, and had sex with some random guy, but...
msevier31: decided that she did not lose her virginity (spiritually) because she wasnt aware of what was going on
msevier31: mother of god, that bitch is in a downward spiral
msevier31: what an IDIOT
msevier31: that makes me want to take a bat to her uterus

msevier31: that inspires me
msevier31: i also have not lost my virginity, spiritually
msevier31: bc it NEVER means anything
msevier31: and im always drunk
----Amen!


Studlystuf: there's no such thing as spiritual virginity
Studlystuf: its the 3rd oldest lie in the book; love is the first
msevier31: hahaha
msevier31: whats the 2nd
Studlystuf: the holocaust is a close 2nd
msevier31: oh
msevier31: i like that hierarchy
Studlystuf: i think its appropriate(ly inappropriate)
----well?