roflmao? something's wrong with my phone

what the hell. shit, pussy, slut, fuck...not in my predictive text
but as i begin to spell out the word "smell" i see it default to "ROFLMAO" even though i absolutely have never typed that to anyone. what fucking 13 year old dork is programming these words into motorola phones? and who uses roflmao? especially if they dont use the aforementioned shit, pussy, slut, and fuck?!

i couldnt be less impressed

suicide: the gift that keeps on giving! merry christmas!

okay, so just in case my permanent spot at the head table of hell has not already been cemented, i had this thought earlier...

im not really sure you're ready for it...

and i promise you i dont say it simply for shock value...

assuming you believe the bible, at least in part, could it be argued that jesus [indirectly] committed suicide?

*gasp*

i know, it makes my heart flutter just a bit too. i think i feel the icy hand of death on my head and the hot fire of hell upon my feet.

think about it, though, with an open mind...even if you are a god warrior
he "had" to die for everything else to go according to plan. he martyred himself for the cause, so to speak...but in effect, was this martyrdom decision not an indirect suicide? he CHOSE to die, if you believe how the story goes. it was his election in order to fulfill his plan. i may be wrong, but isnt suicide where you choose to end your life?

"the intentional taking of one's own life" i believe sums it up

--merry christmas, any questions?

well, i guess the bible i was going to give you for christmas wasn't the best idea...

the ups and downs of diet coke

so, it had been a while since i drank diet coke on even a semi-regular basis, if there wasnt alcohol involved. i had strayed from my love, but im back. i cracked one open the other day (thank you exam time), and im totally back on board. such a dream.
the fact that im back in love with this fiendish mistress, as well as some dieting myth article i read the other day got me thinking about diet coke...

the article said there is no proof that diet coke can help you lose weight. i could easily argue both sides.
1) yes it does - it could definitely help you lose weight if youre used to drinking regular soda, and you replace it with diet soda. even without changing anything else in your diet, if you drank 1 soda a day, youre saving 140 calories a day, and almost 1000 over a week. correct me if im wrong, but 2000 calories is essentially a pound. thats 1000 fewer calories a week that your fatass has to shed. hey, its a start (ed note. 3500 calories = 1 pound. 980 calories per week x 52 weeks = 50960 calories. 50960 calories / 3500 calories = 14.56 pounds. almost 15 pounds a year. still a significant figure)
additionally, if you look at it from the perspective of having diet coke in place of other high calorie food or drink, your caloric differential could be even greater than simply having it in place of a coke. maybe you have a diet coke instead of that 20 oz orange juice (look at the calories there, bogombo), or better yet, instead of that bag of cookies or those french fries. whats that, you cant hear me bc your arteries are so clogged that its backing up into your ears? sicko
theres another way of looking at it...if you drank multiple diet cokes in a day, the little extra caffeine could have a thermogenic effect (just use google.com or dictionary.reference.com to look it up if you dont know what it means) -- who knows, maybe it would amp you up enough to make a subtle difference over time. honestly though, that much carbonation and chemicals cant be particularly good for your bones or anything else. oh hell, so what if youre polluted on the inside...at least you wouldnt be fat!

2) no it doesnt - yeah, i could see this being the case too. replacing a coke with a diet coke may not make that much of a difference when youre downing big macs and fries every day.
but on top of that, consider that the soda is sweet. it may cause some things to happen with your blood sugar and appetite that wouldnt happen if you drank just water, for example. hmm, so you have a diet coke, and suddenly you need something salty. how about some chips or pretzels...or whatever, you get the idea. suddenly, you just ate more calories than you saved by having the diet coke...that wasnt a very good exchange there. this is why you see an amazing dichotomy between the diet coke drinkers (anorexia and bulimia factors aside)
youve got the healthy people who understand calories in/calories out. and then youve got the disgusting fatbodies with no care, clue, or self-control who polish off a 12 pack a day in between their doritos, whoppers, and snickers binges.

i'll have a crispy chicken salad with extra bacon bits and extra ranch, please. oh, and i wanna supersize it, with a diet coke to drink please...


i do love me some 300 pound secretaries with their fast food lunches and snickers and bags of chips for days. living on nothing but junk. but then sucking the coke machine dry of diet cokes. its like ten thousand spoons, when all i need is a knife--its like meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful.... partner


on the diet tip. i had a buddy in college (frat brother... judge me) and he went on an all guiness diet. like weight watchers. he had a guiness for breakfast, one for lunch, and one for dinner. occassionally mixing in some chicken or something with dinner.


....it didn't work. but i think he had some trouble limiting himself to "1 shake", if you know what i mean...


did improve his mood though---


i love diet coke. i love in my hair, i love it in my ass. hell, if diet coke were a fabric, i would ensconce myself in it, if it were socially acceptable.

as for the guiness diet, there is absolutely some merit to it, and here's why -- a guiness is only like 150 calories or so -- the equivalent of a 12 oz regular soda (though cocaine sodas like mountain dew are 170 or 180) ... except there is actually a little bit of nutritional value to the guiness, versus the regular soda.
regardless, if you only have 300 calories during the day, until dinner time, you may be starving, you may have hallucinations, and your metabolism will start to slow down...but either way, thats only 300 calories, so even if you had 1200 calories for dinner, thats still only 1500 calories a day, which would allow you to shed some pounds. it isnt the healthiest, but you certainly could lose weight that way.

one more note about these fat secretarial types you describe -- why is it that most of them are a little hairier than other females? and they seem to be a little more unkempt? and they sweat a little more? the sweating is either the extra layer of fat or the anticipation of their next snickers...and i'd venture a guess that the hair/unkempt appearance may also have something to do with why they are fat to begin with. lazy and clueless. thoughts?