Calling All Cars

Attention:
All ride or die Niggaz--
(that specifically, but not exclusively, is directed at Joe P & Flowers)

We (read: I -- cos I didn't check with Bruce on this one) are looking for a guest post or two for the next installment. If you think you have something to offer; some subject we might be interested in, contact me (if you're reading this, you should know how -- if not, hit me up at Studlystuf (AIM) or Studlystuf@hotmail.com (MSN & e-mail)

Because I feel it might be necessary; let's post some rules! God I love rules... (Here's some Big Shifta inspired SAT prep -- Rules are to freedom : Religion is to spirituality.... snap!)
Ok, we'll keep it tight.

1) Use your own voice. (simple enough, right? but, seriously, don't just lay it down the same way I would or how Bruce would) Do it how you do it...
2) Don't just try to be funny & ridiculous. Give us something... Make us think about it. Try to provoke some sort of response. Think... the opposite of how we like our women; put some meat on those bones! (Promote some discussion, if you can)
3) Don't force it. Let it come and hit me up when you have a gem ready for display. You can't just shelf everything that comes in the door -- some items take some polishing.
4) No boundaries. (boundaries mean possession, & I don't believe in *that* -- no one owns your gospel)

That's it! I can't expect an overwhleming response to this (why else would I use my real e-mail address) but I hope to "get some action, from the back section" (especially from you two, you know who you are)

shifta--
you know they've got my blessing. im open to anyone writing about anything, so long as it fits within the extremely loose parameters of project mayhem
this includes current (yes you, tron) or former roommates (fists of rage or otherwise), any member of the XX crazyrain (yeah, even the ones who check the site even though it pisses them off every time), or the "public," that being the random user who stopped by, or the online prowler who happened upon this religious awakening through fate, curiosity, and some classic online stalking

P.S. Read the next post -- moneyball

the only important contract...ever

so i stumbled across this little nugget...depending on the circumstances, 18 and 19 can potentially be relaxed
pay close attention, take notes if need be. either way, buckle up, its about to get real

BOOTY CALL’S the legally binding agreement

Pre Booty-Call Agreement

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is

entered into on the _____day of __________, 2005, by_______________________,

between ____________and______________.


THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

18. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________



Well, naturally I love this. I have lots to say about it, but it's late on a saturday and I'm not finished drinking. So for now -- my only beef is that there are only two participating parties... what kind of second-rate, blue-collar life are we supposed to be leading here? Maybe the "average" person isn't involved in the same arrangements as you and I, Bruce? Oh well...

i think its safe to say most people arent involved quite like we are...in anything
anyways, when you hit ctrl-P (thats the command for "print," you losers), you have an option for number of copies. i suggest you invest heavily in this option

menage a...thought

so here's one to get you thinking...

does the offer of a threesome make it acceptable to lower your standards as far as the girls go? you know, being "every guy's fantasy," should a man lower his attractiveness standards in order to live the dream?

obviously, im not talking about going hogging here or getting with some ridiculous fuglies. no, i just mean the kind of girl you look at and think "man, i would have to be drunk(er) as hell to get with that" (we know youre not hooking up sober, at least not if you respect yourself, so i mean ridiculously drunk here for most people)
so you'd hook up, but not in good conscience, and you definitely wouldnt be dying to take pictures with her and send them to your friends...

i am going to take the "too good" approach and say it may be okay to blur the lines of acceptability a little bit (hell, you do that anyways when alcohol is involved), but you really shouldnt stray far from your solo-hookup standards, even if its for the menage

exceptions obviously apply, like the revengefuck (reparations!!), the ragefuck, the dryspellfuck, the jealousyfuck, and others

thoughts?


You are so fucking hot. I am so fucking into you. If you agree with everything I've said, just look at me and say "yes"... or wink...

Just for the sake of argument (and because I enjoy it so much) I'm gonna play devil's advocate here.

I guess the easiest argument would just be, carpe diem. That's latin. [Lat. : carpe, seize + diem, day.] (Also, I feel the need to bring into play; "when in Rome." Though, I'm still unsure of its meaning...) As I've illustrated for you before, Bruce, you don't take your fair tickets home with you. You spend 'em all at the fair -- that night! We don't play all these games (figuratively & literally) just so we can throw away the tickets, man. We spend those things on rewards or "prizes" (even if they are of lesser value than the time/energy/money spent to earn said rewards; ie. a 3some that may not be quite up to snuff) and we don't look back. And just for those of you that were wondering; yes, you spend them even if some freaky carny gives them to you for free (thus negating my argument of "you worked for 'em, use 'em" -- doesn't matter) and by free, I clearly mean flashing your bits for his/her amusement and future "me time".

Class, let's review
1. Carpe Diem
1a. When in Rome
2. You've already earned all these fair tickets
3. you're tresspassing
and 4. you've been yelled at [if you didn't get that joke, click the link and look into this -- trust me]

Now, being the fickle, superficial, and generally shallow person that you know me to be; I can see why one would hesitate at the opportunity to jump down a few rungs on the ladder just because there's 4 breasts involved here instead of 2. I'm with you on that. But, then again, what are you so worried about, boss? Is this really important, at all? Is it important in the way that AIDS is destroying an entire people in Africa? Is it important in the way that, as I write this, my "inspired" ex-roommate is planning to take a machete and sweep out the ghettos? Is it important in the way that Nick & Jessica could really be finished for good?! No! It's not! And I think this red n' meth exchange will help to illustrate my point.
Studlystuf: its a 0 sum game
Studlystuf: no one loses or gains anything
Studlystuf: ass just exchanges hands
msevier31: hahaha
msevier31: i love when you break it down
And there it is my friends. What's the harm? What's it gonna cost ya? Squa-dooche!

If I'm offered a 3some (again) I'm treatin' it like a black lady at a buffet. (It's true, some of the dishes may be undercooked &/or potentially fatal. We know all you can eat is such for a reason; it's cheap food.) You know how it is when you go into that buffet, though -- even if you're not that hungry (read: desperate) you still gotta pound.

But you gotta be into Betsy, too...

exams change your life

and yes, i mean your life...not mine

it seems that most people i know (law school, undergrad, middle school...err, scratch that last one) like to take on an alter ego during exam prep time...
i hear all these ridiculous stories about people gaining weight, losing weight, doing ridiculous drugs (prescription or otherwise), etc, all in an effort to "learn" stuff for an exam

i guess i just dont get it...i mean sure, your daily routine will change, and you probably will sleep less and/or in different cycles, but why do you need to alter your life so that you practically drop out of normal society? (see: not showering, not leaving the house, forgoing other normal activities condoned and encouraged by society)

is it a game? is it a mission where you are proving something to yourself or others? i dont recall being informed of this rite of passage, but of course i have missed a lot of those "memos" in life...
im not even trying to say my way is better or right, but i just dont feel the need to change that much...i feel that if there's any time to maintain healthy habits (exercise, hygiene, diet) it would be in stressful times, but who knows...
obviously these crazy systems are working for all you nutjobs, so keep up the bad work
(meanwhile, i am going to go shower and eat a whole meal of food)

LizRau: i hate you, i think your most recent "blog" is addressed to me
LizRau: its not directly about me, but its about people like me
msevier31: yeah and is that SO terrible
LizRau: no, im not actually mad
LizRau: i just do things my way and i think its ok
LizRau: some people study better when they move into the library for a couple of days
msevier31: haha can i add that to the site
LizRau: does it make me sound like a retard
msevier31: no i just think its funny
LizRau: b/c by "some people" i meant me

finally an ad campaign i can embrace

you know the one from virgin mobile "happy christmahannakwanzakuh" or whatever it is...

stereotype after stereotype is played up in these commercials, and i giggle through the entire thing...the gay elf (if youre curious, give me a call), jews doing jew things, superdark "kwanzaa guy"

honestly, who had the balls to propose this? and more importantly, how did this get approved and passed on to national television?

im not offended by these things, but im pretty sure im going to be one of only a few in america, since they leave few stones unturned...either way, i hope this leads to more risk-taking in the realm of advertising, and television in general

hooray stereotypes, and hooray beer

mini cowbell

Studlystuf: ive crossed the line havent i
msevier31: we dont even know about lines
Studlystuf: no question
msevier31: except the vertical ones smilin at us from little girls' panties
Studlystuf: to boldly go where no man has gone before
----he makes me giggle


mgap4444 : so you woldn't be opposed to hooking up w/ someone less experienced?
mgap4444: that doesn't bother you?
msevier31: well.. as long as the pants had been removed, i think id be okay with it
msevier31: you know what i mean
mgap4444: yep...
msevier31: if the box has been opened, so to speak, at least i know im not completely violating
--like christmas morning