Is True Love Forever?

"...and I would never lie to you, no... I would never lie to you, no... I felt you long after we were through..."

Third Eye Blind was one of my favorite bands growing up (like, high school). I used to listen to them religiously. Now *that* was something I was committed to. There was some real conviction there. The connection, and our beings coming together, and the electricity of it all... and, ya know... all that other bullshit. So, I loved them. I really did. I fell in love, and that was it. I never looked back. I was crazy about them. Like old school, middle-eastern crazy! You know who you are...

I actually tried making love to them [3eb] once, and it started out as this really beautiful thing that turned (quickly) into this really sick, twisted, misplaced, sexual deviant thing that was really awkward and emberrassing and... ya know, it got messy and the "proper authorities" got involved, and... anyway...

-- I don't want to say anymore than that. But, the thing is, I put in their first album today -- Fuck I still love that shit! So it must be true love, because true love lasts a lifetime, right girls? 3eb, I'll always love you [it]...

Well, It's Official... I Can't Have Children

Ok, just because there's an info-mercial on, we're gonna talk about this...

Girls Gone Wild. (or as my fraternity brothers lovingly referred to it, "GGW")

I know -- that's all it took. You're totally committed to this rant now. No question. You are going to read this. And that's an important point. Because THAT is why I have to write this. The infomercial came on... I coulda turned it off. (yea right...) I mean, I don't know about you, but I see "Paid Programming" on my guide, and I just pass right on by. But the key thing here is that I saw the GGW logo... and that was it... here I am... committed...


This is truly amazing, GGW. It's a phenomenon. Here's the thing...

Girls. We all know they'll do this "shit" (meaning, they get awesome). It's a given. We know. You sit here and you watch this very real life documentary (What? Maybe your life sucks, but this is pretty close to mine) and you're thinking to yourself, "Who would do this? And why?" Then it goes on for a second and you think, "Why don't I know these girls? I've never met these girls. I go out. I get jiggy, I get down! Where are these girls?" (And even if you ARE a girl, you're still thinking... where are these girls? I would never do this, and my friends would never do this. We all laugh at these girls. How stupid are they?) Fair enough.... but then you're watching, and you're rewinding... and then you rewind once more... and then you put it on slow-mo..... Whatever. But you're watching it, and then it hits you... "Holy shit, I KNOW girls that would do this! Oh my god! I actually know someone, that if they did this, I wouldn't be surprised at all." (And again, even if you're a chick, you're thinking, "Fuuuuuuck, I can totally see my friend, so-and-so, doing this... I guess we DO do this stuff... Crap!") And then it's just like, "Wow, this is amazing. Cos I can totally see *this* person doing it.

Ok, I'm sorry, I really got off track there for a second. The thing here is this; Girls do this stuff. I mean, we know that they do, right. It's on TV, so you know it's true. Plus, as I mentioned above, we all know someone who is/could be doing this. We could get into a huge psych discussion about why, but who has the fucking time. I can't even make it to the gym in the morning. All we need to agree on is; they do it! So, here's my joint.

-- Women (yes, I am generalizing) are this way; no question. The real beauty of 'GGW' is that men have been capitalizing on this [mis]behavior for years... decades, even. We're all getting rich (read: flashed & blown) because of this type of awesomeness. So there's really nothing to talk about *there*. The substantial thing here is that a company (certainly run by men) figured out how profitable this could be (in monetary terms, not just ass -- obviously gay men). And now they're making millions of dollars. That is the real beauty. But how did they think of this?! I'm like, literally, angry. I've had girls flash me. (at least, I'm going to maintain that.) And I've had, "people" (girls, boys, and transgendered; post-op) blow me. So, I'm there with ya, GGW. But I'm not rich off of it! Did I do something wrong? I think not---

I think these fuckers are banking off of none-ass-getting suckers!

I mean, let's be honest, you guys [GGW] didn't create anything. Right? Women will act this way, regardless of cameras or free t-shirts. (just add alcohol) Anyone can go out and see this show -- forget buying the DVD. So 'GGW' didn't discover anything, right. It's not like they uncovered the cure for cancer. This is just miles and miles of oil reservoirs in the middle east; it's been there for a thousand years, and people have been pumping it -- you just figured out how to deliver it to the masses. Mainly, those who couldn't find it/don't have access to it. And, not to discount that -- Quite the contrary; let me be the first to say (on a blog) congratulations. Job well done. Props. But why?! How?!

Your video -- yeah, that's my life. And I'm not a cool guy (yes I am) and I'm just living the same life as every other Joe, (No, I'm not at all.. mine is much, much better) so why is a normal spring break/college party/night at my apartment worth buying on DVD?

Who knows? It's up there with, 'why will girls spit (let *it* get in their mouth) but not swallow?'

There is no answer... it just is...

If you dont have a Y, you need not apply: why it's okay to forgive your boy

look, the other title was bros before hoes, and thats just played out, son

Okay, let me start by clarifying that I do not condone getting with your boy’s woman, unless he’s waving you in (and if your boy gets a lot of hot wool, just hope he is like Dale Sveum and waving you in no matter what). So make sure you get that thumbs up before knockin.
That being said, people get drunk, people make bad decisions, guys [and girls] can get horny and act without thinking (see previous post “age of awesome”).

Here’s why I say that you should be mad at your boy, but forgive him…and leave the chick to get an incurable STD: Your boy, even if you haven’t been down for years and years, is going to have your back on a lot more than the girl is – sorry ladies, it is human nature; plus, you were probably going to get tired of her soon anyways. Guys also think with their penis and only claim to buy into that “love” thing so their penis can get some love (via some hot orifice, hopefully).

Girls actually buy into this love (for more on this, see the various AIM fun posts) and commitment thing though, so for her to be a raging whore and get with your boy is just inexcusable. If she gets with one, what’s to stop her from throat-fucking every frat buddy or cousin of yours she meets? And let’s be honest, you’ve seen your frat buddies in the shower, and you definitely don’t want THOSE souvenirs. (You want your own where you cannot determine their origin, right?)

Here’s the deal – you don’t get drunk and then call your buddy at 2 in the morning and want to “hang out” with him. No, you want him around, and you make a sober decision to invite him over. After all, he’s the guy bailing you out of jail (or looking through the bars at you while you’re in detox), sitting around for hours drinking and playing video games with you, going to Vegas with you and making sure you don’t get your blackout-drunk-ass destroyed by a group of 10 large guys…and every other awesome/worthless male “bonding” activity. You actually want to sit around and shoot the shit with him, rather than wondering when he is going to leave/pass out.

On the other hand…

I may have to become celibate after this goes up

More AIM Fun

msevier31: why do they say that defenses dominate when the offenses just suck?
----i think that's like a guy thinking he's badass just cos he fucked a fat chick


msevier31: like us...with plumley
msevier31: they probably realized they cant help him
msevier31: so they might as well watch the show



msevier31: hey i finally figured out an UPside to being adopted, or at least a potential one
msevier31: it might even be powerful enough to mitigate all the alcohol and drug abuse, plus suicidal tendencies
Studlystuf: and that is?
msevier31: apparently, adopted kids can inherit from their adoptive parents and sometimes from their natural parents also
msevier31: thats like 2 christmases!
Studlystuf: yeah... and 4 funerals
Studlystuf: ...that's actually not bad...
----msevier31: they [natural parents] gave you up! why should you owe them the pleasure of going to their funie? fuck that. CTC, and lets move on


OUGirLgONeWilD: you still can't deny seafood smells
OUGirLgONeWilD: maybe in a good way while you're eating it, but you don't want it lingering around the house for days
Studlystuf: like a woman
OUGirLgONeWilD: do you have no shame?
----very little, actually... is there anything posted here to suggest otherwise?


OUGirLgONeWilD: why does that mean i have to give him head?
msevier31: you dont have to
msevier31: but just get drunk enough to make some bad decisions and go from there
OUGirLgONeWilD: you sound like my mom
----up next, an insightful post about the "upside" to "mature" women (they're like a fine wine, right?)


OUGirLgONeWilD: it just comes naturally
OUGirLgONeWilD: alcoholism runs in my blood
Studlystuf: well you dont want to disappoint
OUGirLgONeWilD: of course not
----no one likes to let down their family... except maybe turtle?


msevier31: so whats her next failed project once this goes south
Studlystuf: life?
msevier31: i thought that was the heading?
msevier31: and these were just bullet points
--when does the much-anticipated STD bullet hit stores?


msevier31: id like to think he might display some "wanton disregard" for general decency
Studlystuf: like us
msevier31: yes, like us with plumley



Studlystuf: she doesnt even know the bases
msevier31: ...i dont either
msevier31: i only know stickin my weiner in a hole
----that's the only one that counts... if it doesn't put runs on the board, who gives a shit what base you got to


OUGirLgONeWilD: ....i'm pretty sure i would have adored you if you would've said, "suck me beautiful!"
----..let me start over... "suck me, beautiful?"


OUGirLgONeWilD: great girls don't just fall in your lap
Studlystuf: ...i beg to differ
OUGirLgONeWilD: you have to pursue them
Studlystuf: hahahahah
OUGirLgONeWilD: oh this is pointless