sarver: the fallen soldier

during the heyday of red n mesh (collective) debauchery, which by no coincidence occurred while i took a year off from school and worked in a restaurant, there was another key player "sarver"
for those of you who dont know the name sarver, he was the one who got drunk in vegas (who doesnt) and started yellin at me, shifta, and ron mexico that none of us was a "ride or die nigga" (although i think it went something like "not a ride or die nigga in the bunch!")

he was a downass homey, fun as hell to party with, and shockingly more crass than me or shifta...it may be hard to believe, but its true. he fit in rather seamlessly with our operation b/c he was a charming guy, knew how to talk to people, knew how to get what he wanted...all this despite his blunt "zingers," extra weight, and overall disrespect for females

anyways when i moved to law school, he moved to tulsa, and we didnt stay in touch that well...but he started "dating" some restaurant chick (i think restaurant "dating" just means drinking a lot and having unprotected sex...but maybe the dating part means you only do that with each other??). after a while he got her pregnant, and he started to feel that settling down was the right thing to do, so i think they were gonna get married, get a house together, etc.

but then it happened..the miracle of all miracles...
miscarriage

get out of jail free! the governor's reprieve!

i would trade a year's worth of presents for a gift that good

the miscarriage means you have NO loyalty to that chick any more...forget weddings and babies...youre not even talking to that chick any more...obviously her womb isnt as polluted as you thought it was.

but wait...what did he do? he (they?) decided that they still wanted to have a baby...WTF, shes only like 20 or 21. so they keep fuckin and she gets pregnant again, and i barely talk to him...its like a different person. i think he's almost ashamed to talk to us or feels like we dont respect it (he's right) or something.
i think shes probably having the kid this spring, and maybe theyll get married after that...what a difference a year or two makes.

no one, when acquitted or released from jail says "you know what, i dont care what you say...id rather be institutionalized! i think it'll be good for me! it'll give my life the structure and meaning it's been missing." no, they dont ask questions, they just pack their shit and enjoy their freedom.

here's to you sarver...our fallen soldier -- who knows WHAT you were thinking

i refuse to acknowledge any of this actually took place. the sarver i know was integral in certain stages of the development, employment, and evolution of the current sophomoric method you see before you. In part, our [collective] being found its naissance with this man. I don't credit him with the genesis of red n' mesh, but he was certainly involved in the growth.
...After all, we're just the combined efforts of everyone we've ever known... that goes for all of you...

this guy was a perennial all-star. one of the best of the best. the [old] sarver could come off of the bench for any team and do great things. someone who would really help you down the stretch. he takes a lot of the pressure off of your key guys and shoulders some of the weight. but you'd never have him on the bench to begin with. he's just too good. [even if he, at times, was only a token guy. a role player.] He was top shelf... until he had that season ending injury. he was never the same after that. and finally, it looks to have ended his career.

i think it has a lot to do with him leaving our rotation. as soon as he was removed from a winning environment (he left for money. just like everyone) he started to doubt himself. his game got sloppy. the drain of trying to do it all on his own wore him down. he just couldn't do it. maybe the game stopped being fun. his head and heart just weren't into it. this league will chew you up and spit you out if you're not careful. it stomps good men into the pavement daily. and now there's one less guy sitting at the head table...

sarver is nothing more than a statistic at this point. he's a casualty of war. one more used up serial number. he's a handful of good memories and a story to tell. he was a ride or die nigga, taken before his time. but hey, look at the bright side --- less competition means more meat for us