response: where have all the nice guys gone?

i read a 20-something female's blog post lamenting the fact that most guys "our age" are assholes, douchebags, players, or whatever, just in search of what's in a girl's pants, as opposed to whats in her head or her heart.
i wasnt even aware there was anything in a female's head, and i certainly didnt know they had hearts. i care about the warm holes. wait, sorry, i have to focus on writing this response; disregard that last sentence

blame 2 things, sucka: feminists and the internet

the internet is easy to blame -- its a way to connect with a ton more people than in the age of approaching a male or female and developing enough of a rapport to get the digits. now you can go on myspace, facebook, adult friend finder, craigs list, etc, and find just about any type of person you want, ready to fuck. thats just science.

the feminists argument may or may not be more attenuated, but i dont think so. feminists push for equality, empowerment, etc. this translates into the recent movement of it being okay for women to be sexual deviants and "players" just like men always have been. and it also means single women who focus on their careers and dont want to detract from this, so they engage in casual sexual relationships as well. it works out great for guys, but not so much for girls. you see, scientifically, different chemicals are released during sex for males and females. we get testosterone, and you get oxytocin (look it up, webster). [ed. note: both sexes release oxytocin, but testosterone helps suppress the chemical in males]. while we're ready to (go to sleep and) move on to another victim, you're looking forward to snuggling and being affectionate. its not your fault, youre a victim of (estrogen/) evolution. at least you have something specific to blame for being a psycho and never fully getting over that guy you lost your virginity to (whom you claim "raped" you, since you regretted having those beers and not waiting until marriage to share something special and beautiful with your mate. *tear*)

here's the point, whiny chick(s). you did this to yourselves. why the hell would a guy, who has no interest in getting married in the near future, "waste" time cultivating a relationship with you, when your roommate will grab suction on the first or second date? or perhaps more in line with the times, will text the guy next time she's drunk and horny at 1am (meaning he doesnt have to listen to conversation for 4 hours wondering if he's gonna get lucky, and he doesnt have to spend money taking her out to a nice dinner trying to impress her).
stick to that "nice guys dont finish last" routine, while all the hot, funny, enjoyable, and otherwise attractive guys are hooking up with your roommate. maybe eventually you'll see the error of your ways...or find a nice christian boy who has no idea what he's doing (in bed or in life), b/c he is brainwashed into thinking he's making the "right choice"

just because you care: the inferno

im gonna just run through thoughts as they pop into my head:

- tonya is married. amazing that any guy would waste their time. dude, dont you know you can get the sex for free? she's mentally fucked up as all get out, and she's like a walking petri dish. i think i went to a high school dance with a girl like this, only maybe slightly more mentally stable. she, too, is now married. morons. at least that girl's husband can claim he didnt know, since she hasnt been seen (as far as i know) fucking, sucking, and snorting on national tv.
does vegas take odds on how long something like this will last? what about side bets for how long til she kisses someone else? blows them? takes off her top in a crowd? i think you could get some serious action on these lines.

- danny is on the badass team. and im rainbow fucking brite. that guy is more of a bitch than half of the chicks there, and last i checked he was pussy whipped by melinda. who got drunk and put him on the wrong team on accident? i will say, i think he might have borrowed some of wes's "supplements" from the last show, cuz dude looks like he put on about 20 pounds. homeboy's piped

- hi CT. bye CT. im not at all surprised by him getting sent home for hitting someone. im not really even surprised that it was a gay dude. since we dont really know what happened, it appears that CT just asked him if he could take a punch, clocked the guy in the face, and then said "what did i do? i didnt hit no gay dude. whats this gotta do with me?" in his wretched boston accent. i love CT, i really do. but really i think i have to say that, otherwise he might work me. WORK. ME.

- related to CT...i think i would have said that kenny didnt belong on the badasses either, since he's such a girly boy, except he is giant, and he chested up to CT. that right there earns sick amounts of props, and a head seat at the badass table

- derrick replaced CT. only in this cess pool of reality has-beens could someone just drop what theyre doing and fly to south africa on a whim. sure, im free indefinitely...see you tomorrow.

- this girl ev is almost cute, and then you realize she might have just had her penis removed last week. good lord, thats a beast. when can we have the legendary badass guys and the legendary badass girls on one of these. im talking eric, mark, miz, ct, alton, landon, abe, evan, big eric, wes, brad, and every other testosterone pounding guy, plus the crazy bitches like rachel, veronica, tonya, ev, etc. tell me you wouldnt tune in to watch that?

- abe's head is shaped funny. it apparently didnt prevent him from beating a ring-tailed lemur (alton) in a climbing mission. scary. perhaps if anger management can keep himself from punching someone for an entire season of anything he can have some success

im not sure how good this season will be, simply for the fact that the "badasses" are stacked as hell. alton is the only legitimate guy on the good guy's squad, and im not even sure the adonis himself can carry those chumps. perhaps they can count on the badasses imploding. it looks like an astounding season, as usual.