deniability is key

1. your mom/dad need(s) it (okay usually MOM. let's be honest, there arent that many slutty/awesome moms out there who actually know whats going on..and usually their kids are fucked up and/or std-ridden) they can give you the "worried sick" routine all they want, and maybe rightly so, you dirty alcoholic whore. but for all the worry they have now, until they know that you bang a different guy/girl 5 five nights a week while on a cocktail of weed, speed, and x (everyone does cocaine, so i am assuming thats almost constantly in your system), they wont worry nearly as much. of course when youre in the hospital for overdose of whatever and the doctor discovers you have innumerable and even unknown/unnamed diseases, then you get the legitimate worried sick...maybe if they think you're dying, they'll finally give you that attention they didnt give you in the first 18 years of life. just a thought

2. your fling/girlfriend/boyfriend/ex-whatever needs it. people tend to have wild imaginations, and many are paranoid (for very good reason, obviously, you cheating slut) - but for some reason, as "sick" as a guy or girl may get when their imagination runs about how many dicks you sucked this week, until he walks in on you in the laundry room with your lips around his friend's cock, or she sees those clawmarks on your back from your drunken orgy with mary-jane rottencrotch and friends, it isnt nearly as bad. i dont know why, but it is...so until there is some real proof, the deniability is in tact, and it can all be conveniently swept under the "oh im just being paranoid" rug. and i wish i didnt have to include "guys" in this category, but there are some who are just as bad or worse than females, as shocking as that is

3. you need it- your life sucks, you've been spinning the wheels for how many years now? do you even have any conceivable reason to get up in the morning (besides to get the daily news)? look, no one is buying that youre happy...and i know you operate under the psychobabble "if i tell myself and others that its true enough times, maybe i can convince myself and them too!" principle. too bad we already read that book, but its a nice try. you may also wonder what "it" is that youre trying to convince people of - point is, it doesnt matter. it could be that you dont need a boyfriend/girlfriend right now, or that you like your friends, or your job. we dont believe any of it, so stop trying