today was a good day for sexual harassment

lets recap-

61-year old kept telling me how good i looked, and saying "thats why i love you/him (depending on if she was talking to me or someone else" ... every time i walked up, if she was talking to another female she'd say "he is so cute isnt he?"

my delightful black lady kept sayin mm my marlboro man is lookin good to-DAY. "marlboro man, i need to buy you some jeans and some cowboy boots...maybe a hat...and OOO some CHAPS"
and proceeded to do the overwhelmed/turned on face and noise.
later she walked by and made the "mmm, MMM" sound, like after you enjoy a good dessert (orgasm)

and finally, back to the 61 year old hispanic lady...she was talking to a mediator there, whose session i sat in on, and she said "he really is a sharp guy...sharp little ass, too"

i dont even have anything witty to say here...im just reporting the facts.
would it be better or worse if i were getting paid for this shit?

juicy little nugget of advice from old balls mcgee

at the public service today, there was a mediation involving 2 (black) women who either were or still are in a business venture (salon in your home, anyone?) together. apparently some guy was married to one of them and had a baby with the other one. shocking stuff, really.
as enjoyable as that was, however, i got a nice piece of advice from old balls mcgee who ended up mediating the case.
he said it was a "good example to keep it zipped up" -- complete with the zipping motion in the crotchal region. so, thats a lesson for you kids out there. even if youre all taters, keep that shit zipped up (or push the bitch down the stairs)

that is all.

bruce dickinson and smu would like to cordially welcome all (hot) freshmen (girls) to the dedman center

...feel free to use it (me) as often as you wish.

so i went to the gym the same time that i have gone a lot of this summer, not even thinking that new idiots may be there. the gym was teeming with morons and hotties, though. plus all the ridiculous grabasstic fratboys who may or may not shoot steroids and semen in each other's asses. but that's neither here nor there.

the new school year brings the freshman class into the gym in droves, as it turns out. this means lots of young, awkward, and slightly uncomfortable boys...and some very young, hot, tightbodied (slutty) girls. the number of girls under 110 pounds was strong to quit strong. so many "bodies" there, it was sick. my neck is actually a little bit sore.
sadly, i think my boobies are bigger than a good number of them, but we can work on this. hell, most of them will probably end up with fakies anyways. who needs tits when youve got body that filthy?

the best thing i saw, other than all the beautiful babies, was this guy. i have to assume he's a freshman or just an idiot who somehow hasnt been out in public much, or at least has yet to receive proper smu endoctrination. he wore a short-sleeved black under armour shirt and shorts. i dont approve of just wearing the under armour shirt unless youre ripped as shit, and you plan on protecting this house, you know? well, he wasnt ripped...but he also wasnt wearing just that shirt. dude had a white wifebeater OVER the black under armour shirt. it was right out of a 7th grade football practice, where the chubby kid puts a tank top over the tight shirt to look less chubby. amazing. suffice it to say, i giggled like a psycho.

this looks to be an incredibly promising "season" of merriment for me. stay tuned.

...and to that (beautiful baby) angel who smiled at me on my way out, thank you. i may stay in school the rest of my life.

say no to marriage!

i have no doubt in my mind that this is some sort of rehashing of previously discussed material, but things like this deserve a refresher course once in a while.

you know, people i know have been getting married, others are in serious relationships, yada yada. i just...i dont know...i cant envision myself ever ending up in what i like to call a marriage-track relationship (again?), unless it's with my fellow blogger of course.
im entirely too selfish and self-absorbed. on top of that, im entirely too pragmatic/realistic/cynical about serious relationships, despite the relative success of what i will call the "3 year" relationship.

here's the problem, however. as we get older, generally our lives become more static (or less dynamic, depending on how you view the proverbial glass of water), which means we come into contact with fewer people. additionally, our [glib] friends are all deserting us for monogamy, or an attempt at it. and finally, youve got that whole evolutionary/biological impulse to procreate, and unfortunately in our society, youre encouraged to procreate in wedlock...you know, for that whole "healthy family" bullshit. obviously that works really well.

i dont want to get married. i THINK i want kids eventually (as scary as that is to some of you, im sure), but i cant even take care of myself now, so i dont want a little shitfactory to take care of for quite a while.

---side note: i was at the gym earlier, and this man was playing with his baby. it was really adorable, but then he took the baby to see what i think was her mother. and the mother did the retarded "googoo gaga" type face. why do people feel the need to act like complete idiots, in public no less, when there is a baby or pet afoot? is it wrong to talk to them in a normal voice? is it possible to avoid contorting your face to look like you have down syndrome??
i like the seinfeldian, unenthusiastic "hi, how are you" much better than the "zjehzjehbabaaay" type bullshit---

i dont know where i was going with this before i got sidetracked, but i really believe the no-marriage thing could work if we were all in this together. unfortunately, youre all too glib and pathetic to join me...assholes