RToD: exes and grooming your groin

1. i wonder what sort of a stomach-punch moment it is to see an ex after a few years and find out that he/she is engaged, married, and/or having a kid. im too young to have dealt with too much of that, but one girl has been married a year or two now (and she was younger than me, for the record. no surprises there)...it also wasnt a stomach punch bc that was a weird relationship, and her getting married at a young age kind of elicited more of a "thats about right" type response.
i'd love to hear about any of our [five] readers' experiences with this...

2. and on to the good ol subject of grooming your crotchal region.
i definitely dont remember ever having a "bush" myself, bc i dont recall when i got rid of it for the first time. i know for sure i was doing things by '96 or '97, which should come as no surprise to any of you who know me. hate hate hate hair.
anyways, i dont know what got me thinking about this, but does anyone of our generation NOT know that you need to, at a bare minimum, groom that region? obviously i know there are some trolls who didnt get the memo, and i fully expect mr shifta to fill in with some quality stories of his KA brethren and their hoodrat chickadees in all of their flowing mane glory.
look, you should be doing this as much for yourself as for the other person (assuming you ever get ass, which may be a stretch). the hair down there is a gross consistency [see: greasy, curly, wispy, etc]

guys-
im not necessarily advocating the scorched earth/euroboy magazine bald look. it looks a LITTLE strange if youre completely bald down there, especially if you have hair elsewhere. ive done it, and it feels pretty nice, but it isnt worth all the hassle. a simple beard trimmer or hair clippers (like from the barber shop) will suffice to trim the hedge down nice and low. use the lowest setting. watch out for the more tender skin, and stay away from the sack, unless you want a bloody mess. or unless you have a leather pouch down there, you fucking badass. pull out the mach 3 to shore up any loose ends and take care of the ballllls. believe it or not, the razor on the balls thing doesnt hurt one bit, as long as you dont do it dry [god i cant imagine]

girls-
shave the kitty, seriously. or i guess you could wax it, but that might be prohibitively expensive for some. if you absolutely have to, resort to the hair trimmer, but i swear to god, if that shit is longer than whats on my face, i might fist your eyesocket (or any random orifice).
i dont understand the landing strip, and i probably never will. its just strange and unnecessary. you dont need a hitler stash up top...we know where the twat is (even if we have NO IDEA where the g spot is, or if one even exists...much like big foot)

the point of all of this is, hair down there is wrong. i dont know how or why i got started with this shit, but i know brandon and i can definitely claim multiple converts to our system (the method and the apparatus have been in place for years. dont question it). many satisfied customers cant be wrong.

any questions?

public service and obscenity

just a short update on the latest sexual harassment. i was promptly greeted with a "mm, my marlboro man!" by my delightful black friend.
when i got there today, my 61-year old hispanic lady wasnt there, but when she got there, i asked her if what i was wearing was okay. i wore a short-sleeve polo, for the record. she said "baby, you know you dont have to wear ANYTHING"
um, wow. when is she going to pull out the dollar bills?
then she said i had big muscles and asked me to flex (which i did not do, btw)
thats about it.
i think the ladies and i are gonna get drinks (and hopefully pass some diseases around) pretty soon. im keeping my fingers crossed and hoping they say yes!

more public service sexual harassment. YES!

so my 61-year old told me today i get her "worked up" -- thanks, now i know i wont be able to sleep at night. cant you keep your masturbatory thoughts to yourself?
also, the (black) lady who told me yesterday that she was sorry she missed me when i first came in, told me i looked "hollywood" yesterday...and then later called me the marlboro man...oh, and she moaned one time when i walked by to go to the bathroom. you cant make this shit up
also as i was walking off, i heard her say "ooo im wearing me a short dress tomorrow!"

8 hours down, 22 to go. how long until im gangraped by a mob of middle aged hornballs, really?
im sure the stories will continue to roll in, so stay tuned...
i think i need to shower off the filth now


hey, maybe you should get her digits -- just in case you hit a dry spell.
She could be your latin lover.... wanting you, needing you, taking you...

mmm, public service requirements are so hot

so out of respect for the relative privacy of others, im not going to say where im doing this public service, but either way, it makes for a nice tale, and perhaps just an introduction to more madness.
i was assigned to a 61-year old hispanic lady who is just a firecracker. all within the first hour or hour and a half, she cursed like a sailor, admitted to smoking pot once (with her sister, who is currently on probation for smoking pot. remember, this lady is 61, so her sister must be near that age), told me she likes whiskey sours, discussed a recent hit-and-run accident she was involved with on the highway, and sexually harassed me a number of times.
this is all on top of a "joke" email yesterday where she said it might be a good idea for me to wait to come in until today b/c she was hungover. not sure if it was a joke or not.
oh, and she also told me that shes diabetic because she is "fat and likes to eat" according to her. and her husband has all sorts of medical conditions, including a colostomy (take a minute to jerk off now if you need to, sicko), but he "has a great ass" she says. vomit everywhere. of course, after she told me he had a great body and ass, she showed me a picture, and i went to the bathroom where the projectile vomiting commenced. let's just say he's the antithesis of an adonis.
and on my way out, i was definitely ogled and sexually harassed by two more ladies, one of whom asked when i would be coming back, and guaranteed me she'd be lookin forward to that (and that she was apparently quite disappointed she missed me when i came in the first time??)

i feel so cheap and used. whats new

as a last side note, i did get to employ the phrase "drop the science" today, which caused a little precum to leak into my boxers. POWER!

another bruce dickinson RToD

dont choose your college, university, grad school, etc based on someone youre dating. unless youre married, this is most likely a mistake, b/c when you break up (and the chances of this are strong to quite strong), you will be bitter that you moved to another city for that person...not only that, but since youre obtuse enough to have moved there for this person, you likely dont have many friends in this new city. double bitter!
that is all. proceed with the chlorophyll