maybe you should pee on her...

okay, so you hook up with a guy or girl. its JUST a hook up (thats what you girls tell yourselves going into it anyways, right?).
it goes well, you hook up a few more times...or maybe you dont hook up again, for whatever reason...but lets just assume arguendo that it wasnt bad, and that you would be WILLING to hook up again if the stars aligned.
you dont want to date, and youve been clear about that...but, wait a second, why does the thought of him [or her] hooking up with someone else trouble you so much?
you didnt honestly think you were special did you? b/c let me tell you right now, youre exactly the opposite. you are not a unique or delicate snowflake...youre the all sucking all fucking [all snorting?] crap of this world.

but why does it trouble you that this guy/girl hooked up with someone else? it isnt the risk of disease, so dont even try that one...after all you dont even know if youre gonna hook up with him or her again.
is this an ego thing? like you think they picked the new one over you? maybe they did, maybe they didnt. the bottom line is, you have no claim on this person you hooked up with, sorry. hell, even if you dated, you still have no claim...so let it go

next time try peeing on him/her to mark your territory...at least youd have a legitimate claim

battle of the sluts! who wins?

the competitors:
1. small town girls
2. girls who "developed" earlier than most
3. girls who were "touched" at a young age

1. small town girls - we're all familiar with this phenomenon. there's nothing to do in small towns, so they "grow up" a little quicker. we're drinking and smoking earlier, and we're humping earlier and more frequently. what the hell else are you gonna do? you cant go to the one gas station-slash-restaurant ALL the time. plus that thing shuts down by 9. that leaves a lot of hours unaccounted for where you can collect a beer belly, some diseases, and some babies

2. early developers - here's a legitimate question. are they slutty b/c they got attention from guys at an earlier age, or did their sexual being develop quicker than other females, along with the milk bladders? i think it might be a grab-bag of A and B in this case, and this attention was linked to a good feeling, and they continue to get attention and affirmation by sucking [mine and shiftas] dicks

3. the touched souls - oh yes, theres your lifelong mindfuck. she was molested by daddy, or her sunday school teacher, or her soccer coach...whatever it was. this chick is so fucked up sexually, theres no reason to even begin to describe it. you know at least 1-2 people like this, whether you actually know it or not...wrap your head around that one, son. my advice is to steer clear of this breed entirely, unless she sucks a great dick and/or you dont mind a lot of crying/yelling/depression counseling sessions.

obviously there is some bleedover between these categories, and someone who falls in all three may never actually close her legs. the question stands, however, if you assumed (arguendo, for you legal queers) that these were mutually exclusive categories, which category has the highest % of sluts? the easy answer is small towns bc people in small towns are probably not as smart, and they really are that bored. but there are also plenty of "pure" small towns filled with religious zealots. so rethink the answer trebek, and post your insight

Fuuuuuuuck...

I'm not even touching this one, man. You're on your own, bucko. I will say that I celebrate the spectrum of sluts in its entirity. I can't say I prefer one over the other -- the type of baggage doesn't really play into it, because you gotta know going in; you never get something for nothing, boys. If you're not prepared to deal with all the crying/yelling/depression counseling sessions, you shouldn't be playing the game, kid. "There's just one bitch... with many different faces." You know this, because Tyler knows this. They're just a different yoke (that's right, Soft "J") with the same punch-line.

I know, personally, I slut around because I crave constant attention from the opposite sex. It's the only thing that makes me feel important and special. I sometimes (always) confuse lust with love. I determine my self-worth based on the "love" of a woman. I fear that if I don't behave this way, I could end up miserable & alone [as opposed to miserable and with someone, which is almost certainly guaranteed] It says horrible things about me to others if a woman doesn't want to be with me forever.
Wait, what?

Oh, to answer your question, "Who wins?"
Between the sluts, it's extremely difficult to say. But, let's be honest, the real winners here are the children-- I mean, the men. This world we live in; we can't lose.... (by we, I mean bruce & i -- I don't know what the fuck you other clowns are doing)

Actually, this blog makes me wonder;
When can we (men) stop bothering to learn their names? Is it acceptable (yet) to stop asking altogether? I say, enough of this phony charade of "we care". Why can't we just be honest about what we want? Just be honest and tell me you need some sort of male affirmation in order to feel anything good about your life, and I'll tell you I don't care, and you can tell your friends and family (and yourself) whatever you want as long as dinner is on the table and I get regular blowjobs. Also, I need to be allowed to "stray", or, "be a man" as I call it. The thing is, I'm gonna do it regardless, I just don't wanna hear your bullshit if/when you find out. It's like they say about anal sex, "guys, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission."

aaand I'm spent -- I think dinner is ready....